Weekend in OH & Paper Cutters

Sorry for the delay on the weekend post. I'll tell you why later. Our weekend in OH was great. I helped Jennifer out as much as she would let me, which in my opinion wasn't close to enough. Anyway, we got a huge snow on Thursday (7 inches), so we were a little nervous about driving. Once we were on the road we realized the roads were fine. On our way over we saw a "supersucker" truck.



We arrived in OH around 5:30 or so. After we unloaded the car we immediately let Grace open her birthday & christmas presents. I think we were more excited than she was. hee hee







We got her Lulu from Leap Frog and this little chair and nightstand. I think the chair was her favorite, but she learned very quick how to pat lulu's stomach to make her say different things.

Anyway, after that we took our bags downstairs and relaxed for the evening and caught up. Jennifer was feeling pretty good from her chemo treatment just a few ours earlier. We baked the pizza pasta that a friend of hers had brought over and heated up some soup for Jen. Unfortunately Eric wasn't a huge fan, so he ended up ordering pizza. I thought the bake was pretty good though. After that I helped (or watched) Jen give Grace a bath and put her to bed. She was pretty tired. We didn't stay up too much later ourselves. Jen was starting to feel sick and Eric & I were both exhausted.

Saturday we got up and played with Grace and was fairly lazy. During Grace's morning nap Jennifer & I started wrapping her Christmas presents. While we did this our husbands went shopping for a few things. We got about halfway through the presents when Grace woke up. We fed her lunch and the guys picked up lunch for us. After lunch Jennifer's friend stopped by to pick up some baby things Jen had borrowed from her. Jen & Grace took a nap and I showered and changed my clothes (from my pjs) and watched some TV.

Jennifer got up around 5 and we woke Grace up around 5:30. The guys were playing some xbox, so after they finished their game we headed out to dinner to Red*Robbin. It was busy, but we got right in and is was yummy. I got the teriyaki chicken burger. Oh my. Grace had her first meal ordered from the kids menu, Mac n' Cheese. After that we headed home. We put Grace to bed and Jennifer & I headed upstairs to finish wrapping her presents. We made a horrible discovery...



Zeus, Jennifer & Eric's pug, found a pot of gold while we were out to dinner... He moved to 8x10 picture frames that were sitting on top of the box, removed the plastic wrap and opened the box only to devour 23, count em 23, Hershey Pot of Gold Chocolate Pecan Clusters. Needless to say he spent the evening vomiting and waddling around with a rock hard stomach. We were all worried about him, but he was fine Sunday morning. In fact sometime during the night he even ate some crackers to settle his stomach.

Anyway Jennifer & I finished up wrapping presents then laid on the couches w/ our hubbies and watched TV before heading to bed.

We got up fairly early Sunday morning and were on the road home shortly after 8 am. Unfortunately Jennifer was not feeling well at all and I felt bad, but was glad she felt well while we were there this weekend, not that it would have mattered if she felt bad.

After we got home, we watched the Colts game, did laundry, took a nap & went to bed early. On Monday I was feeling blah when I got up and Eric was leaving for a business trip to Tennessee. I nearly stayed home, but then just decided to head to work and then leave a couple hours early. B-I-G M-I-S-T-A-K-E!! I should have stayed home!

About 2 pm Monday I was using a paper cutter to obviously trim some cardstock. Anyway, I'm sure you can see where this is heading, but I moved the paper and got it situated how I wanted. For some reason, when I was pulling my hands out of the way I brought my right hand under the blade of the cutter and sliced it pretty good. The slice is about 1.5 inches w/ a little triangle on one end where I apparently jerked when I realized what was happening. It didn't hurt much, nor was it bleeding much but I went to urgent care and ended up getting 4 stitches. It's in a bad spot, too, so it's really putting a damper on things considering I am right-handed. So there you have it. That's the reason for the late post and just for future reference, the reason for the lack of posts over the next week and a half. I don't get my stitches out til Dec 23.

Busy, busy, busy...

I've been very busy this week, thus the lack of posts. I hope to get back in the swing of things next week. Work has been busy. Home has been busy. When I do get a moment I feel like just being lazy. We are leaving shortly to head to OH to spend the weekend with Jennifer, Eric, and Grace. Next week Eric will be gone Monday & Tuesday. Our calendar is cram-packed with all kinds of holiday festivities and the like. I know I still have pics to post of the Pacers & Colts games. Also have some cute pics of Godiva "helping me wrap presents". She has left the tree be for the most part. Last night she was being nosy though and checking things out. Apparentl a strand of lights was hanging down and when she backed out from under the tree the strand of lights was around her neck, so I freaked and she froze (thank god)! No major catastrophes. We got about 8 inches of snow last night, so we are digging out from that, too. Anyway, expect an update and pics early next week. Hope everyone is doing good and enjoying the hustle and bustle of the holidays!

Our Christmas Lights and Tree

Merry Christmas - Try-Outs

We decided this year to send everyone pics of our doggies in the christmas cards since we don't have kids yet. Why not?! Boy did we have our work cut out for us...





Finally after god knows how many pictures we snapped this one and decided it was good enough!

Weekend

We had another good weekend. Friday wasn't the best of days what with starting and stuff. I didn't start until late in the afternoon, but it was enough to ruin my evening. I spent the evening on the couch. We grabbed dinner and that was about it.

Saturday morning we got up bright and early. We were at at the Christmas tree farm by 9 am picking out our tree. We walked for a while and finally found one that would suit us. It was a frasier fir. We cut it down, drug it up to the barn, got it bailed, paid for it and loaded it up. Once we got home we put it in the stand and started removing the netting. We realized that one side was terribly sparse and flat. Fortunately we just turned it towards the wall and laughed about it. We decorated it for a few hours and cleaned up. I just love the smell of pine! After that we headed to Moe's for lunch and Target to browse and to see my sister. We grabbed a few things and headed home to relax the rest of the evening.

Sunday morning was a lazy one. I laid on the couch and watched TV until 1 when the Colts' game started. I showered and started getting ready. We had a christmas party to go to for one of Eric's customers. We went to a local steakhouse and it was formal attire! Cocktails were at 5:30, so we left around 5:15. We got there and Eric got me a chocolate martini. (YUMMY!) I did spill a little bit of it though, however I was not the only one. Around 6:30 we headed to the table to sit down and order our meal. They had a select menu for our group, so I ended up getting a sirloin steak and baked potato. For some reason it came out nearly a piece of coal even though I ordered it medium. (GAG!) I picked at the sirloin and ate the baked potato. The waiter did come over to see how things were and I showed him my steak. A while later he came out with a take home box. Inside was a nice, juicy, yummy looking sirloin steak. We left there shortly after 9 and Eric dropped me off at home. I was tired and getting a headache. He went back to the bar for a while and chatted with everyone, while I drifted off to la-la land.

Overall it was not a too bad weekend. It wasn't great to start off with, but it ended lovely.

P.S.
I know I'm lacking in the picture department. I hope to get them up this week. I have Pacer's, Colts, & Christmas decorations all on my list. I just haven't got around to it yet.

ABC's

I stole this from Kitten.

•A is for age: 26
•B is for booze of choice: Asti, Bloody Mary, Chocolate Tini
•C is for career: I work in the Graduate Office of a Top 10 University
•D is for your dad's name: Brad
•E is for essential items to bring to a party: Alcohol & Music
•F is for favorite song at the moment: Don't have a favorite at the moment, but like anything hip-hop/rap
•G is for favorite game: Football
•H is for hometown: C'ville, Indiana
•I is for instruments you play: None
•J is for jam or jelly you like: Strawberry Jam
•K is for kids: 0, but working on 1
•L is for living arrangements: Husband, 3 doggies
•M is for mom's name: Vickie
•N is for name of your crush: Harrison Ford & Vin Diesel
•O is for overnight hospital stays: Pheumonia
•P is for phobias: Snakes and Spiders
•Q is for quotes you like: "That is not in your best interest."
•R is for relationship that lasted the longest: Husband-4 years and counting
•S is for sexual preference: Straight
•T is for time you wake up: Workdays – 6:01 am, Weekends: depends..around 8:00-9:00 a.m.
•U is for underwear: Just as long as they are VS
•V is for vegetable you love: Mashed potatoes
•W is for weekend plans: Cutting down & decorating our christmas tree
•X is for x-rays you've had: Chest, hand (finger), nose, ovaries (that counts right?)
•Y is for yummy food you make: Pumpkin rolls, Chili, & Mashed Potato Dream Casserole
•Z is for zodiac sign: Pisces

RE Update

Of course they were running behind, so we waited for a good 30-40 minutes. While waiting we decided that this board of baby pics must be success rates for Dr. H. So while we waited I counted...There were 58 pics total. Of those 17 were obvious multiples. Oh and the waiting room was also shared with all those pregnant ladies going in to get bloodwork and/or ultrasounds. I told Eric I didn't think that was quite appropriate. Anyway...

Finally we were called in. The nurse (I'm fairly certain she's the doc's wife) went over my history. I told her about the thyroid test and the normal results. She asked me about my prolactin being high and I said I knew nothing about it. Apparently when they did tested my progesterone in 3/04 it was high, but said it was back down to normal in 3/05 when they checked it again. I didn't even know they checked it. Surprise. The weird thing is they are supposed to check it on CD3, so I wonder if that had anything to do with it. Who knows?! She said the doc would be in shortly.

Dr. H came in and made a comment to the effect of us wanting to get pregnant. Yea, do you think we'd be here if we didn't. I just said, "Yea that about sums it up, we want to have a baby." He went over my history a bit. He said he has a solution for us. I asked him if he considered me unexplained. He said yes, but that I was also in the endometriosis category since I did have it even though it was mild. Basically his solution for us is to do Injectibles with an IUI. I would be monitored here in my hometown clinic. They would do all of the bloodwork and ultrasounds. I would do those first thing in the mornings and then his nurse would call me the same afternoon with the results and if I need to adjust the injections. I would travel to his clinic (about 1 hour away) to get "inseminated". He gives this a 20% success rate, which we thought was pretty low, but when you consider straight trying at 2% per cycle and clomid at 4% per cycle, that 20% doesn't sound as bad. Of course our biggest concern is $$$. We have a tentative plan in place, but we won't be able to start our first cycle for about 6 months it looks like. Unless of course we win the lottery (thanks for the idea Jen).

Dr. H said he would only do 2 at most Injectible/IUI cycles. If those didn't work we'd go on to IVF. He didn't see any point in wasting money on them if they didn't work the first 2 times.

So where do we stand right now? Well, we now go into think of anything you can to get money mode and wait til we get it to call them to set up my cycle.

I know I'm forgetting something so feel free to ask me questions either here in the comments or e-mail me. :D

At least there is something on the horizon for us. It's not over yet!

CBC & Thyroid (TSH & T4)

It seems all of my results from my CBC & Thyroid bloodwork came back normal. I won't give you all the CBC b/c its a lot. My thyroid is as follows:

TSH - Results=0.901 - Range=0.350-5.500

T4 - Results=1.21 - Range=0.89-1.76

So now in a couple of hours I'm off to meet with the RE. We'll see how this goes, but I'm not holding out too much hope on it. They called me yesterday to confirm my appointment and then to let me know that insurance had sent them a note saying my consultation would be covered, but nothing further, blah, blah, blah.

Check back this afternoon to hear what I find out...

Go Colts!!! (11-0)

Yesterday morning Eric's boss called him and said he had tickets for the colt's game last night. Two for his customer and two for us. Luckily I had to get off work early to go to therapy so we were able to leave town to head down (about an hour drive) to Indy for the game. We stopped at a Tailgate party. It was fun, but super crowded and sort of a cluster. We headed (read: walked about 4 city blocks in high heeled boots) on down to the dome to sort of beat the rush and get something to eat. I was starving. Of course we were the first to arrive in the sweet, so we went ahead and helped ourselves to chicken fajitas and popcorn and drinks. That suite is right next to the opposing team's owner's suite, so that made it even more interesting. Especially when the colt's were stomping them. hee hee We did have some Steelers fans in our suite, too and after having some alcohol made it even more interesting. By the time we left my jaw hurt from laughing so hard. It was an absolute blast and I'm so glad we were able to go. Well worth staying up til nearly 2 am on a school night...

Can I go to bed now??

Therapy #9

Fairly boring session this time. We talked about the holidays. I told her about the drama at my aunt's with my mom and youngest sister. She seemed to think I handled it well. And especially when I told her about how I handled the "day after" calling saying sorry, blah, blah, blah. I tried to be patient with my mom, but she thinks she is the only one grieving my brother's death. Hell Thanksgiving wasn't easy for me, but I was thankful I got to spend it with my family. That's what Matt would have wanted. I think mom got my point and she's probably mad at what I said, but I don't even care. She is doing nothing to grieve Matt's death. She's drugged up on prescrips and god knows what else that she is self perscribing. Anyway, she (therapist) said she thought I handled it well and I seemed to be finding my boundaries. She gave me a book to read on different kinds of boundaries that I should be setting. I'm actually anxious to start reading it.

We also talked about some issues that Eric & I have. A lot of them are b/c of the crap we are dealing with in trying to get pregnant. Some stem back to when I was younger. Next time we are going to start working on those and getting to the core of them so I can be the best wife I can be. I'm a bit nervous b/c she said she'd like to pray with me next time. I don't know if she expects to get something out of it or what. I'm open to it, just a little nervous.

Eating, Decorating, and a Little Drama

So we survived Thanksgiving. Wednesday I was allowed to get off work at 3 (2 hours early), however Eric had his guitar lessons, so I kicked back in my office and chatted with my sister for about 45 minutes while I waited on him. I was not about to "work". hee hee For dinner we met up with both of my younger sisters and had mexican. Of course it upset all of our stomachs, but it was still yummy. We came home and my sisters went back to Ash's dorm and we kicked back on the couch.

Thursday, Thanksgiving day, we got up and got ready early while watching the Macy's Parade. My sisters came over and we left around 11:30 to head to C'ville. We dropped my youngest sister off at my mom's, chatted for a few then headed down to my grandparents. I love this family. They are so laid back and normal. There is one aunt... Her family is rather uppity and it drives me crazy! My cousin and aunt walk in like they are going to some fashion show or something. Complete with their prada purses. I just roll my eyes and try not to get too annoyed. Of course I got to play with my niece, too. Lunch was great as always although we tried not to get to stuffed. Eric & I each only had one plate and didn't go back for seconds. We had a little dessert too. We left around 5:30 and headed home. My sister Ashlee was still there finishing up her laundry and we snacked and watch "The Polar Express" or as my sister kept calling it "The Polar Bear Express". It was such a cute movie.

Friday we got up and Eric started working on the outside christmas lights about 8:30 am. It was freezing outside so there was no way I was going to help him. Instead I made some hot chocolate and put together a few of the decorations and watched him from inside. I got ready and did a few things around the house. He finally came in around 1:30 to get ready. We left around 2:30, picked up my sister and headed to C'ville to my aunt's house (mom's side). On our way we stopped by to say Happy Thanksgiving to my brother and found out that his headstone had finally arrived. Apparently they had put it out that morning. That made Thanksgiving a little better. I'm so glad its there now. When we got down to my aunt's house my mom was in a tizzy and all mad b/c my cousin had asked my youngest sister's boyfriend to leave. This was only after finding out that he beat the shit out of her last week. So bad that she had to go to the hospital thinking she had broken ribs or a broken sternum. Thankfully it is only bruising, but she is still with him. He was no welcome so he did leave. However a short time later so did my mom and the abused sister. They said they were going to see Matt's headstone, but we knew they wouldn't be back. It bothered me, but there was nothing I could do. I made a few comments and watched them drive off. We didn't even exchange good-byes. After dinner we had a euchre tournament. It was getting late, so we decided to head home.

Saturday we got up early and headed to town. We got the car washed, had breakfast at i*Hop and headed to Target for more lights. After we got home Eric worked on the lights. I did some laundry and helped him outside some. We left around 3:30 to get our tree. We had got a flyer from the tree farm we've went to the last 2 years, but didn't read it very well. They opened a new location, so we went there first. They only had pine trees and we really wanted a fir. We thought we might find a pine that worked, but most of them weren't tall enough. So we headed over to the old location (it was on the flyer). Unfortunately it was closed. We had no idea what was going on. Once we got home we read the flyer and realized it was only open the first 2 weekends in Dec for past customers only (that includes us). So we aren't getting the tree til this coming Saturday. We grabbed dinner at Moe's, returned a few things to Target, and headed back home. Eric put a few other things out and worked on a section of our icicle lights that was out. The weirdest thing happen while he was doing this. A car pulled up in the road, stopped and took 3 pictures of our house. We have no idea who it was or why they were taking pictures. It was just weird. I guess they liked our lights, at least that is what we think and it makes Eric feel good.

Sunday we got up, grabbed breakfast and headed to the movies to see "Walk the Line". It was a great movie! A definite buy when it comes out on DVD. After that we returned a grapevine snowman whose butt only half lit up and grabbed lunch at Culver's. On our way home we stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things then headed home and spent the rest of the day being lazy. Eric practiced playing his guitar, I cut up a salad and made some chicken salad for lunch this week. I napped while he watched football. Finally we watched Cold Case and I went to bed.

This week should be a little less busy. Eric got a call first thing this morning and his company had 2 extra tickets to the Colts/Steelers game tonight, so I'm stoked about that. I have another therapy appointment tonight, so we'll leave right after that and fight the crowd, but it will be worth it! Other than that we hope to get back to the gym this week. I'm even contemplating getting up to go before work just so I know we go. I'll see how this week goes before I decided if I can get up an hour earlier every morning or not.

Hope you all had a happy thanksgiving, too!

The Bad, The Good & The Ugly (yes, in that order)

The Bad
So yesterday morning I met with an advisor regarding my admission... Come to find out, their website is misleading and they do no offer the degree I want to pursue and my second choice is only offered as a minor. I'm not exactly sure what to do now. I guess I'm going to now. I have to do some more research and some thinking and see what I come up with.

The Good
Also I had a doctor's appt yesterday. This was to meet a new GP in hopes that we like him and he would be our PCP. And he passed with flying colors. I got a physical and while I was talking to him told him I would like to get a CBC for a clean bill of health and also get my thyroid checked b/c 1) hypo runs in my family and 2) it could be a cause of my IF. He wondered why my OB never checked it and I agreed that it seemed stupid. The next words that came out of his mouth were... "And you will get a copy in the mail next week of the results". I was just getting ready to ask about how I found out the results. Wow! I did ask if I could pick them up Monday or Tuesday since I was going to the RE on Wednesday. He said sure. Eric got 2 moles checked out and we scheduled him to get them removed mid-December. We headed down to the lab to get my blood drawn. So after 3 1/2 years up here, we have finally found a PCP that we can call if we get a cold or have minor health issues. Woohoo!

The Ugly
Unfortunately I had a reaction to the bandaid and the bend of my left arm is sore and red. The dot where they took blood is fine, just where the bandaid was. Ugh!

Weekend

Our weekend was good, but quite busy. Friday night we grabbed dinner (mexican) and hit the mall. Eric wanted to get some new jeans and a shirt and I need some new pants. He got his outfit fine, but I left feeling fat and depressed. I'm in between sizes at the moment and I want to be in that smaller size. Well, I'm not yet, so they were too snug to buy and I didn't want to buy the bigger size b/c well, I want to lose more to be in the smaller size. So I didn't buy a single thing.

Saturday we got up early. I was feeling quite lazy and got involved in a movie while Eric cleaned the house. We both showered and got ready after that. Eric's parents came over around noon. We grabbed lunch at Olive*Garden and hit some stores for our usual shopping. After they left that evening we ran to the grocery store and watched TV before going to bed.

Sunday we got up and got ready early. I made a california blend casserole. We loaded the car and headed to C'ville for Thanksgiving dinner with my dad's side family forgetting the pumpkin roll, which we abruptly turned around to get. Unfortunately we also forgot the camera and didn't realize until it was too late. :( Everyone was there besides one cousin and it was nice. I, of course, played with Caidence most of the time. She is so darn cute. I did get a glimpse of sister K's more in-depth parenting and she made it clear to everyone that Caidence was it for her. She would not be having another. This coming from the girl who wanted several kids. I made that actual comment to her and she let me know that she had no idea she would be doing it completely ALONE. L barely plays with Caidence and that is IT. Of course she told me I better get busy, which I just let go in one ear and out the other and changed the subject. Then we left there and headed to the Pacers ballgame.

OMG!!! Our seats were the B-E-S-T!!! We were in the first row directly behind the scorers table. We did get some pics with our camera phone, so I'll try to upload those tonight. During the first few minutes of the game we actually watched the rest of the Colts game on the computer monitors of the scorers. :D The game was good and I was astonished by the height of these dudes. It was a GREAT experience to say the least. The half-time show was actually pretty awesome, too. I can't remember the name of the group, but it reminded me of stomp. These 3 guys played drums on these bucks and metal sink and one guy did some keyboarding. It was awesome! The Pacers won of course and we headed home. I was exhausted (still am today). I slept a bit on the way home, but tried to talk to Eric a little, too b/c I knew he was tired, too. When we got home we came home to a mess. Godiva apparently got extremely bored and decided to destroy her bed in her cage. There were foam pieces everywhere. We cleaned that up and headed to bed.

Even though I'm still exhausted today and despite the sadding clothes shopping Friday, it was nice to have a good weekend. This week is going to be pretty crazy, too, but I will update when I can. Work has picked up, too making it a bit more difficult to update but have no fear. :D Also, stay tuned for up-close pics from the game last night!

Quick update

So I have officially applied to college once again. I won't hear anything for probably a few weeks though. :( I did get an e-mail requesting basically a statement of purpose, which I happily obliged and returned to them. I get the feeling they are unsure of me b/c I do not have a health sciences background. What freshman do you know have that background? I took biology and zoology and chemistry in HS and loved them. It sorta pisses me off that they even gave me this impression. I have a meeting on Tuesday with an actual advisor, so I should know more then. (I hope!) If for some ungodly reason they don't admit me I'll have to come up with another game plan. What, I don't know yet. I have no desire to go to graduate school, especially not for business or management. Aw well. We'll see what happens next week.

Big plans for the weekend, so you won't hear from me again until Monday. I hope to have some pics up though from our weekend. We just found out last night that we are going to an NBA game and have floor seats (right behind the scorers table). Woohoo! I get to see just how tall those dudes are. I can't wait!

It's really cold here and we even had some flurries the other day! I'm not ready for the coldness, but bring on the snow! I know I'm weird. 8-)

As for this cycle.... We have been trying on a consistent basis and will continue for a few more days although I think I've already ovulated. It doesn't hurt though. :D

Busy

I've been busy the last couple of days. Won't go into details yet (because I don't have any), but am looking into going back to school. Can you say... COMPLETE CAREER CHANGE? I'm super excited about it though. I just notified my boss(es) this morning and am waiting for their response before I head to admissions and do all that stuff. Will post as soon as I have more details. To give you a hint, I would be going into a health science field... :D

Weekend

I took Friday off of work. Well, actually I got 1 bereavement day for my uncle's funeral so I took it without any hesitation. :D We slept in a little then got up and got ready. We headed to the mall to get Eric some shoes as his other ones really don't go with his suit very well. We grabbed lunch and headed home to finish getting ready then headed to C'ville. My uncle's showing was nice and there were a ton of people that came. It was nice seeing some of the extended family we don't see very often, too. Of course I spent about an hour playing with my niece. Would have been longer, but she dropped a bomb and needed get home. Ewww... After the showing our immediate family headed to a local mexican restaurant for dinner then we headed home. I was exhausted and went straight to bed.

Saturday we got up and got ready. We grabbed breakfast on the way down to the funeral. John's funeral was nice. Their church minister spoke and had us all laughing and of course crying, but John would have enjoyed it, too. They even had a lady playing bagpipes, which my aunt and uncle loved at his burial. After the service we had lunch at the church and headed home. I had a headache, so I relaxed on the couch. Later that afternoon Eric decided to work outside on some stuff and I decided it was too nice not to help out. We cleaned out all the leaves (or most) from our landscaping. I trimmed up some of my plants for the winter. Eric winterized the pond and did a few other things. We worked until it was dark. Then we grabbed dinner and relaxed the rest of the evening.

Yesterday we stayed home all day besides a quick run to the grocery store. Eric mowed the yard and put some of our christmas decorations together although we haven't started decorating yet. Eric watched the Colt's game (they won-woohoo!) while I made 2 pumpkin rolls and some potato soup. My sister came over in the afternoon and did her laundry and visited. We made dinner and she left shortly after. I watched TV and cuddled with Godiva, then went to bed sometime after 9.

Today I came in to a tornado that wrecked through my desk. I don't know what they did on Friday, but I made it clear I wasn't happy with my desk being a disaster. I felt like they were looking through stuff trying to find something. Believe me when I say my desk is organized and they wouldn't have a problem finding anything. Unless they were looking for stuff I might be hiding. Ugh-vent! What a way to start a Monday.

O'well. I'm back to my eating good and cooking at home healthy eating and going to the gym. I have gained back more pounds than I care to and have got to get them back off and keep them off. I have nearly 10 pounds to go to get down to where I want to be to be happy. It shouldn't be hard as long as I stop eating some of the crap I've been putting in my mouth. We start back to the gym tonight and I'm ready. I can't gain that winter weight that people do a lot.

Therapy #8

Hard to believe I've been eight times now. I was dreading going yesterday, but actually felt a little better after I left. I told her about my uncle dying and how only 2 months ago I had had the dream that he died. And how it brought up a lot of my feelings about Matt again. She said I was having grief bursts. Apparently they are pretty common. I told her I had been having several dreams recently. So far in the last 2 weeks I've had 2 dreams related to violence and war. They were on the nightmare verge, but not completely a nightmare. Plus I had a dream that my youngest sister totally my mom's car and was in the hospital. I've had freakish dreams for a while now, but not on a regular basis at least. Again she thinks everything that is going on in my life right now is causing these grief bursts and stem back to my brother's death.

We talked a lot about the holidays and how I'm dreading them. One b/c of the death in my family. I have 2 sides with death to deal with instead of just 1. Also I am dreading Thanksgiving w/ my mom's side. I have to try to distance myself from my mom and aunt b/c they drive my crazy and make me very uneasy and on edge. She said to do things like sit in a different room or busy myself w/ cousins or gramps or Eric. I know I can do it, but damn if my aunt's house isn't small and that makes it more difficult. She said I should try not dreading them, but look forward to spending time with those I don't see as often and enjoy being around. That sounds like a good idea.

We only touched on the IF stuff. She agreed that I should fight about the testings b/c they had definitely not ruled everything out.

I go back right after thanksgiving, so it should be interesting to see how the holidays went from her perspective.

Letter

To the Lady with the "I (Heart) My Firefighter" Sticker on her Back Window:

How would the "Your Firefighter" feel watching you throw your burning cigarette butt out the window of your car? Need I say more...

I think you need to re-evaluate your love...

Update

Just got word that my uncle passed away. Looks like we'll be going to a funeral this weekend... He's in a better place now and not in pain, so in that respect I'm ok with it.

Random Bits

- Went to see my uncle John last night. He's even worse than Sunday, not surpisingly. His mind is still pretty sharp, but damn if his body isn't failing him. He is filling up w/ toxins from not having dialysis. When we got there I asked him how he was doing and he said he was dead. How do you respond to that, when you know he's so close?

- He broke down when we left and it broke my heart.

- We are going back down tonight if he makes it that long. We told him this before he left and he kept shaking his head.

- My sister called at 5:40 AM this morning. (I don't get up til 6:00 am) to tell us she went to the hospital and has pleurisy. Lovely.

- I miss my brother so much.

- I'm still confused and depressed about IF.

- I'm tired.

- Eric is going on a business trip in December, so we'll have to rent a car for me since we only have one car. He said I could take it off, but it would be w/out pay. Ugh! However, I think I might take him up on it if I don't get out of this funk. Maybe make my sis run me around one day and do Christmas shopping. We'll see.

- Eric is sick and keep hacking crap up. It makes me gag, but I know he can't help it.

- Work should be picking up, however the lady who "doesn't acknowledge Halloween" has been quite busy and I haven't offered once to help her out. I'd rather stare into space for 8 hours. :D Of course reality is I surf the web for 7.5 hours. :D

- We have a lot going on in Nov & Dec. More than our usual holiday festivities. I guess it's ok though b/c it will keep us busy.

- I'm SOOOOO ready to start putting Christmas decorations up and cut down our tree. I want to smell that pine scent every morning when I get up and every evening when I get home.

- My dreams are weird again. I've had 2 that were very violent and war-type and 1 where my mom called and said my youngest sister had totalled her (my mom's) car and was in the hospital. I am supposed to be keeping a dream journal, but haven't put these in it yet.

- My newest addiction is myspace.com and friendster.com.

- I gotta get out of this funk. I think its more than the normal holiday funk.

CD 8

GOODBYE CLOMID! I took my last clomid pill this morning. I'm happy to see those little suckers gone! Now the fun begins, right?

Got a letter late last week from my insurance company basically stating they are allowing me $500 for my initial consultation with the RE. Nothing else will be covered. Period. No testing, no procedures, no bloodwork, nothing, nada, zilch. This depresses me in all honesty. I am going to talk to the RE about it b/c I don't feel like we've ran ALL of the tests and should not be classified as infertile until then. We'll see what Dr. H has to say? I'm not sure where this leaves us either. I mean, if I'm classified as infertile then that's it? I wonder about finding another OBGYN, but I don't know if I can even do that.

I'm just so confused and scared and lost right now.

Weekend

My weekend was only so-so. Friday I got off work early and we headed south to see Uncle John. He was still at home b/c the hospital was apparently full, so they were on a wait list. We visited with them for about an hour. It was so sad to see him like that and I feel so bad for my aunt, who is handling things as best as she can. We left there and went to dinner with my grandparents. We had a nice dinner and visit with them. On our way back home we stopped to see Uncle John one more time, not knowing if this would be the last time we saw him alive or not. Eric & I had a good talk on the way home. If there is one thing this year has taught us it's to enjoy the time we have b/c you never know what tomorrow brings.

Saturday we got up about 5:30 am and I took Eric to the bar for breakfast club. I ran back home and cleaned up then headed down to C'ville. I met my mom and grams and we went around to all of the flower shop open houses. It was a good time, but a little tense, too. My mom is still not doing very good and it's hard for me to be around her sometimes. She's not getting any better. Period. I started getting a headache around noon so we headed to lunch w/ my great gramps. It was nice visiting with him and it was nice of him to get out of the house for a bit. He's 88. Later we were talking and grams told me that great gramps goal was to make it to his 90th birthday. I think he'll make it. After lunch we dropped gramps back off and visited a couple other shops before we departed to head home.

After I got home my head was still killing me, so I spent the entire evening on the couch sleeping and watching TV. Eric woke me up around midnight and we both went to bed.

Sunday we got up and got ready and headed back down to C'ville to see Uncle John again. He got admitted to the hospital Saturday evening, so that's where we went. We ended up spending about 2 1/2 hours with him. It was nice. His mind is so sharp, but his body is just failing him. He's had 2 strokes and his speech isn't very good. He mumbles and it's hard to understand him. Everytime he would talk, my aunt would have to have him repeat is several times. He finally got annoyed with it and in a quite clear voice told her she needed to get her hearing checked or her ears cleaned. He had us rolling at times.

On our way out of the hospital we ran into a girl I went to school with. It was so good seeing her and hopefully we get together sometime soon. Sometimes I'm leery about going back to my stomping grounds for fear of running into old classmates, but I was certainly glad I ran into her.

On our way back home, we took a jaunt to Don Pablo's for dinner and then Target. Let's just say Eric is working hard to outdo our neighbors christmas decorations. I can't wait to start putting stuff up. I think we might start w/ the decorations Thanksgiving day unless something gets scheduled between now and then. Then the Sunday after we will go get our tree. I'm so excited.

After we got home we had a pretty lazy evening watching TV and relaxing.

Some Bad News

Got a call last night that my uncle is not doing very well. He is on dialysis, but only a few months ago found out he has cancer. It is fast growing and I believe is now consuming him. He decided on Wednesday that he was done doing dialysis or anything else. He has basically just given up. The hospice people came yesterday and went through a stack of papers with them. They were supposed to take him to the hospital this morning for his final days and so its not so hard on my aunt but they don't have a bed for him, so now they ar waiting on call to say bring him in. My aunt is holding up ok right now, but I'm sure she's trying to be strong for him. I feel so bad for her. So tonight we are going to town to see him. I'm actually glad that we get to see him at home rather than at the hospital, but it's sad to know that I might not see him after tonight. He is declining VERY fast. He has lived a long and happy life, so that I am thankful for.

Hello Packet, Good-bye Packet

I got the packet from the RE's office yesterday, so I spent last night filling it out. It really wasn't a major deal, just several forms to fill out. They will be going back out in the mail this afternoon.

I had a panic attack on Tuesday b/c after I found their website I read something about a $200 fee for the initial consultation that was due prior to your appointment if you were self-pay or your isurance wouldn't cover. After fretting a few hours I decided to just call the clinic. Basically as long as my OB gave me a referral then my insurance would cover that fee. I realized that they would also cover those tests needed to diagnose IF, too. So, I called Dr. S and they were already working on my referral for my HMO and Dr. S would be writing a letter to Dr. H stating my history. That made me feel a little better and the lady I talked to was quite nice. Of course I also spent Tuesday typing out my history which I imagine is better than Dr. S's. Plus I printed out my charts for the past 2+ years and put in a nice report cover. :D I also scoured some websites on questions to ask and things of that sort. My list is as follows right now:

1 - How often are you in town? (His normal office is an hour away and Dr. S said they are in town 2x a month, which concerns me a bit.

2 - Who does callbacks w/ info and/or results? If I have a question the nurse can't answer how long til I get a callback from the doc? End of day? Next day?

3 - Will I have a consistent nurse/coordinator throughout my process or will it vary depending on procedures?

4 - Opinion on acupuncture?

5 - What do you think our prognosis is?

6 - IUI - Costs, meds

7 - Dr. H's recent stats. I couldn't find this on his website, nor was it in the packet of info I got from them.

8 - Do you think stress plays more of a role on me? History of depression not only w/ me, but in family as well.

For those of you who have been to an RE, do you have any advice, tips, etc.? I don't think IVF will be anywhere in the near future. We don't have a lot of money to spend on treatments at the moment. I do have a positive outlook that this guy will give us a diagnosis. I can accept the fact that X is wrong and they can either fix it or not, but I won't accept "unexplained". I just don't believe it. To me "unexplained" simply is a lazy way to say I don't feel like doing anymore tests. I know we haven't exhausted all of our options and maybe if/when that times comes and we still don't have an answer I will beging to accept "unexplained". Until then I won't hear/speak of it.

Please if anyone has any advice, tips or knows of other questions I should ask, please comment or send me an e-mail!

Good Luck Danialle!

Go over and wish Danialle luck this morning. She is getting half of her thyroid removed due to a tumor growing inside it. She has never had surgery either. I'm sure she'll do fine!

CD 1 - The time has come... **updated**

Today of course the witch arrived to greet me this morning. A tad late considering yesterday was Halloween, but I suppose she must have been busy brewing up something and/or flying around on her broomstick scaring little kiddies. So as usual I called Dr. S's office to let them know I need my final round of clomid called in. The nurse said she would call me back to let me know she had called it in, which seemed a little odd considering they've never done this. I just know they call it in and I pick it up the next day.

Anyway, the nurse just called back and said they had called in my clomid, but Dr. S wants to go ahead and refer me on to Dr. H... (Jaw drops to floor here) Dr. S never ceases to surprise me I guess. I just assumed that he'd wait to confirm the 6th cycle of clomid didn't working THEN refer me on. Not refer me on while going through it. AND I assumed that I wouldn't see the RE until after the first of the year, which essentially still could be the case.

So now I sit and wait on the nurse to call me back with my appointment with Dr. H. I never thought we would get this far. Denial... Yea, I admit it. Freaking out... Yea, that too.

**********
My appointment is scheduled for Nov 30 @ 10:45. Apparently Dr. H is in my city about twice a month. They are sending me a packet of info to fill out and return before my appointment. Plus, I'm supposed to (laughing hysterically) make a copy of my insurance card and send to them with the packet of info.

What is weird about this is Nov 30 is the day I should get my next period. Ironic?

Now on to doing some extensive research on this guy. Hell, I don't even know his first name, let alone anything else about him. Holy shit this is real!

Halloween Pics

Here are our decorations. The only thing you can't see is the strobe light and fog...









Here is Eric dressed up to go to the bars. He's a drug runner.


Notice the Belt Buckle...


And the Cowboy Hat I made for him...


And what is in the briefcase you ask? (Yes, that is flour in those bags)


Me in my attire.


Poor Puppies had to stay in their room during trick-or-treating hours.


So trick-or-treating is over now. I'm going to watch a little TV and go to bed. Eric will be out until quite late. We actually had more kiddies than we thought despite the rainy shitty weather. Of course we have tons of candy bars left over, but that's ok. We'll get rid of them.

I had cramps this evening, but they are gone now. The witch has not flown in yet, but I expect her to arrive in the morning for another perfect cycle. How nice for her to allow a CD 1 on Nov 1. Just extremely nice timing.

Oh, apparently we are going to be visited by ghosts & ghouls, too. We had one of those chain letter things on our doorstep today that we were supposed to pass along before Halloween. Well, there was no way I was going to be able to pass it along in time. Oh well, they can give the witch some company, right?

That's all now. Goodnight!

Happy Halloween!

I love Halloween! We decorate our house complete w/ fog, spider webs, bones, music (new addition this year), spell book as a candy dish, etc. Best of all we give out BIG candy bars. The regular sized ones. Kids love it! We have just under 150 although I'm positive we won't have that many kiddies. O'well. I will try to post pics tonight or tomorrow so you get the full effect.

Sidenote:
If you haven't checked my chart, my temp nose-dived, so it looks like the witch has chosen the appropriate day to fly in on her broomstick. Not sure what time she'll be landing though. I haven't heard from her as of yet. I won't let it ruin my day though.

Weekend of fondue, football, pea in a pod, shopping and a little rest

We had a nice weekend overall and I actually feel a little refreshed today. Friday night was lazy as usual. I slept in Saturday morning and it was wonderful. When I got up I cleaned the house, showered and began preparing some fruit for the chocolate fondue to be prepared later. My neighbors C & W came over shortly after 2 to watch the Purdue game. During the first quarter, C & I prepared our respective fondue (beer & cheese for hers and chocolate for mine). Unfortunately this was the first time using my electric fondue pot and I ended up burning it and had to throw it away. thankfully Eric saved the day and pulled something off the fly consisting of white chocolate, a variety of liquor, cocoa powder and lord knows what else. C's beer & cheese fondue was wonderful, however both Eric's & my stomachs were upset, but I think it might have been the beer. Not sure, but it was Y-U-M-M-Y! Eric's chocolate fondue was good, but very rich and we couldn't eat much of it. Towards the end of the game I had my first trick-or-treater. See pics





Yes, I got ANOTHER baby fix! She was just adorable to say the least. They didn't stay to long, but that was fine since my neighbors were there and Caidence was tired, too b/c they had been to a couple other family members houses and had pictures taken professionally.

Purdue lost as usual and C & W headed home. For some reason I was getting cabin fever, so Eric & I headed to BW3s to grab dinner and watch some football. After that we took a drive around campus to catch some costumed kiddies, but there weren't many people out.

Yesterday we got up and headed to the mall. Eric had to get a few things for his costume he's wearing to the bars tonight (I'll post pics at some point) and I wanted to check out some pointy-toed shoes. Did you hear that??? Yes, I'm getting some pointy-toed shoes. I found a pair of boots I fell in love with that I plan on going back to get later this week. Hopefully they are still there otherwise I'll have to find them on-line. Anyway, I've been steering clear of these shoes for quite some time, but now I'm really working on my feminine side, so I'm breaking down in the shoe area. They were lovlier than I originally thought and I'm sure I will add more in time.

Yesterday afternoon I got a call from my sister. She was riding w/ her roomate to the hospital and needed a ride home. Let's just say she (the roomate) has a piercing that was "irriated" and now has infection in it. It is obviously serious b/c they admitted her and are keeping her for a few days. Yikes! After we picked Ash up we grabbed dinner, dropped her off and headed home. I worked on replacing a label on Eric's cowboy hat (part of costume) and then shortly after went to bed w/ a horrible headache. Ugh!

Miss "S" (in our eyes)

Here are some pics of my lovely sister in her Miss "S" pagaent. No she didn't win, but she's Miss "S" in our eyes and that is really what matters most! Plus in all honesty the stupid pagaent was really based on a popularity contest and not what they were all out there doing. Anyhow, without further adue.... (Oh, the lighting sucked, so that's why some of the pics are really dark.

Here is Ash showing us that she really is Miss "S".


Here she is singing during the talent portion of the pagaent.


Here she is in her formal gown right after the contest was over.


I'm so glad she even did it. It wasn't about winning with her, but more about just being involved. I love that about her!

Therapy #7

Dr. A said right off the bat that she could tell I was still well. I must give off that vibe or something. We talked about my sleeping habits for a while and she still doesn't understand. Basically I wake up several times during the night, thus not getting a good nights sleep. I am not stressed or worrying about stuff, just wake up. When I wake up it's not for any reason (ie, dream, thoughts, etc). I normally go right back to sleep, too. I told her I attributed it to clomid b/c the problem really started around the time I started taking it. She looked in this big book, which has infor on all drugs and there wasn't a "side effect" of sleep disorders, but she said maybe I was in that 1% range they don't mention b/c it's such a small percentage. I didn't mention this to her, but my hair is falling since starting it, too. Again, I think it's a side effect.

We spent the last 15 minutes listening to this relaxation exercise I'm supposed to do every night before I go to bed. It is this man talking and taking you through steps of deep relaxation breathing. I don't think I'll listen to the tape, but I do think I'll try some deep breathing on my own. The tape actually gave me a dull headache and I took a nap when we got home instead of going to the gym. Ugh! I am a fairly shallow breather anyhow, so I imagine all that oxygen got to me, which caused the headache.

As a side note, I did get a good night's sleep last night. It had nothing to do with the relaxation technique though. Eric bought our oldest dog Krissy a new bed b/c she's nearly 11 years old and is showing signs of age. Anyhow, it came yesterday and she wasn't very interested in it for some reason. Godiva on the other hand decided that we secretly got the bed for her and took it over. She L-O-V-E-S it! Normally she sleeps w/ us at night and along with that normally get ups at least once in the middle of the night. Not only did she sleep on her new bed last night, but she didn't get up a single time. She wouldn't even get up this morning to go out and go potty. She is quite funny! I'm sure she'll enjoy it, but that only means we still have to find Krissy a new bed that she likes. Here's Godiva in her new bed.




P.S.
She visited the vet earlier this week and now weighs in at a whopping 85 pounds! We feed em' well at the ranch apparently. :D

Ho-Hum

Haven't had much to blog about recently, but should have more real soon. Leaving for therapy shortly so expect an update on that tomorrow although I expect it to be pretty uneventful again.

Tonight we are going to see my sister participate in a Miss "S" pagaent. Apparently each dorm holds these pagaents, so I'm using "S" as I don't think it would be appropriate to name the actual dorm here. So I will post about that in the next couple of days including pics! Although if she's wins then I'll have to put her full title. :D

Tomorrow Jennifer will be having her first chemo treatment, so feel free to link on over to her and wish her luck. I'll be thinking of her!

This weekend a neighbor couple are coming over to watch the Purdue football game, which they will most likely lose. It's sorta fondue themed although Eric wrinkled his nose and plans on ordering pizza. C is making a beer & cheese fondue and I am making a chocolate fondue. Thankfully this was the perfect time to purchase an electric fondue pot, so I'm excited to try that out.

We are getting back into the gym routine. We went on Monday and are going again tonight. I'm hoping to get in a minimum of 3 times a week, but would like to shoot for 4-5 times a week. It felt great going on Monday although I was extremely sore yesterday and still a bit today. I don't mind the soreness though b/c I know it's obviously doing something to my body. :D

CD 24, 7 DPO

Not much to say except 1 more week to wait...

Weekend Review w/ Pics

The weekend was fairly uneventful. Friday night Eric & I were both exhausted for some reason. After he picked me up from work, we grabbed dinner then headed home and stayed on the couch the rest of the evening. Eric had a promotion to go to Friday night, so he left and I went to bed.

Saturday morning I got up early, showered, picked up my sister and headed to C'ville to meet my mom. We were meeting at my grandparents house and she was running late. While we were waiting I got a call from sister K. She was heading to my town and was going to visit us so we could see baby Caidence. However since we were in C'ville she stopped over there for a bit so I could get a baby fix. :D



She is so cute. I could just eat her up! She kept smiling at me and I even got to hold her for a while w/out her screaming in fear! I think she likes me.

After she left me, mom and Ash headed down to this flea market and walked around. Unfortunately it was quite junky this year. The only thing I purchased was ID tags for my doggies. I was nearly convinced in purchasing one of those magnetic bracelets that are supposed to be "healing". However, they were more than I wanted to pay, so I passed. My sister's ankle started hurting, so we ended up leaving earlier than expected and headed back in town to my favorite chinese restaurant. I seriously only go there for the hot & sour soup and crab ragoon. OH MY it is so YUMMY! Here we are leaving lunch.



When I got home we watched football and ran a few errands before going to bed.

Yesterday was an even lazier day. I spent basically all day on the couch. I watched a movie in the morning and then come 12:00 football started and remained on all afternoon.

That about sums up our weekend. Exciting, I know. :D

All about Me

Kitten allowed me to steal this from her. :D

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you.
Bobby Fischer (chess grandmaster) - Woohoo, boring I know.

2. Where was your first kiss?
Ew. It was a dare and I kissed a boy on the stairs of a house I was babysitting at.

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property?
I don't think so.

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
Not hard. :D

5. Have you ever sang in front of a large number of people?
Yes, but not by myself!

6. What's the first thing you notice about the preferred sex?
Teeth

7. What really turns you on?
Foreplay

8. What do you order at Starbucks?
Non-Fat Mocha or Hot Chocolate

9. What is your biggest mistake?
Staying with one guy for all 4 yrs of high school... At least I did learned from it.

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
Not in a bad way. (ie. piercings, tattoos)

11. Say something totally random about yourself.
I am random.

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
My husband thinks I have a similarity of Reese Witherspoon.

13. Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
Movies - Yes, TV shows - Not really

14. Did you have braces?
Not now, but twice when I was younger

15. Are you comfortable with your height?
Yea, I'm a bit short, but I use it to my benefit.

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you?
Probably shortly after Eric & I started dating. He took me to dinner at the Eagle's Nest (rotating restaurant at the top of a building). He had made arrangements with the waitress to have my christmas present waiting at the table. After dinner we took a Carriage Ride around the circle, then on to a Christmas Musical - all in one night. Big Sweetie!

17. When do you know it's love?
You just know!

18. Do you speak any other languages?
Took 3 years of German and can barely speak a word to this day.

19. Have you ever been to a tanning salon?
Oh yes, try to refrain these days though.

20. What magazines do you read?
Good Housekeeping, Scrapbooking, Easy Cooking(?), Red Book, whatever my MIL brings when she comes over.

21. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
Yes, twice. Once for a surprise b-day party Eric planned for me and once at our wedding.

22. Has anyone you were really close to passed away?
Yes...

23. Do you watch mtv?
Occassionally we catch Punk'd, Viva La Bam, or Pimp My Ride if there is nothing else on.

24. What's something that really annoys you?
Nail Biting, smacking chewing gum, pen clicking, back stabbing, stupidity... Shall I name more? I'm easily annoyed.

25. What's something you really like?
Getting together w/ my girls at least 4 times a year.

26. Do you like Michael Jackson?
No, I have a problem w/ child molestors (even if found not guilty)

27. Can you dance?
I think so. Not great, but I manage and I don't really care what I look like to others as long as I'm having a good time!

28. What's the latest you have ever stayed up?
Hmmm.... Maybe 2 days-ish

29. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
Yep, once when we were in a car accident. I got to sit in the front though so obviously the rushing wasn't for me!

30. Do you actually read these when other people fill them out?
Yes and normally do it myself, too.

You DON'T Acknowledge What?!?!?

I don't like to talk about work on here, but I HAVE to vent and you might not understand completey, b/c I have to be somewhat discreet, but bare with me.

I have this coworker, I'll call her B (yes, for Bitch). My first impression of her was quite good. We had some of the same gripes of the office and although I agreed I didn't say too much b/c I didn't want her to have any ammo against me. GOOD THING! My "boss" hasn't been the best at training me so I spent lots of time learning her job so as to back her up. (AKA - Doing her job while she "updates the website") Suffice to say this fall when I was extremely busy she was too busy "updating the web" to help me out. I was pissed but I am quite an excellent worker (I will toot my horn) and managed to do a wonderful job staying afloat leaving very little rollover for the next day. Damn I'm good! Well, recently she has become quite a bitch to me. She gets pissed over petty things, sends me obsurd e-mails titled "whatever", which I happily (nonchalantly) respond stating how stupid she is and how petty it is. I could elaborate, but I'll spare you.

Oh did I mention she "does NOT acknowledge Halloween". WTF?? Yes, she told me this w/in the first few weeks of my starting this job. She said it is a holiday for the devil. I about peed my pants laughing b/c I LOVE ME SOME HALLOWEEN. I totally think Halloween is what you make it to be. I have many "religious" friends who love dressing their kids up and taking them out to trick-or-treat.



So you may have already guessed, since she's working so hard to piss me off these days, I myself have been quite busy decorating my office, or at least my desk, for Halloween. And L-O-V-I-N-G every minute of it. I started out small just to "get under her skin" so to speak and more for myself, but she plucked my last nerve today. And guess that that means?? A mandated a trip to the Halloween store tonight, where I do buy more stuff to decorate my office. Oh yea, uh-huh, I AM THE BITCH!

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha



Note to readers:
I apologize if any of you readers "don't acknowledge Halloween", but please spare me the details b/c I love it!

Fertility Stones

My mom picked up these pink gems over the weekend and gave them over to me the other night. They came in this litle baggy w/ no card or anything. It was nice. I asked her what I was supposed to do with them and she said I should keep one and Eric should keep one. When I protested saying Eric probably wouldn't carry a pink rock around with him, she thought maybe we could put the other one by our bed. I thought maybe I used them to strengthen my kegels. You know get some fertility luck up my fertility canal. ha ha ha My grams was with her and really got a kick out of that comment, too. Our room is filled with fertility symbols (that obviously aren't doing their job), so one more surely could help.

On a serious note though, somebody was probably blowing smoke up her ass, but I'll take it b/c essentially it IS the thought that counts and at least she was thinking of us. So tonight I'll put one beside our bed and hope it got into our hands at just the right time.

CD 18, 3 DPO

It looks like I have officially ovulated sometime between Sunday and Monday. That seems about right. Since I've been on clomid (w/ the exception of last month w/ the shot) I have ovulated between CD 15-17. Now I'm in the lovely 2WW. Keep your fingers crossed. I'm looking for a treat this Halloween, not a trick. Keep that in mind whoever is listening. **wink**

:D

Weekend Review

This weekend was just about the laziest I've had as of yet. I was supposed to attend my first ever breakfast club on Saturday, but since it was homecoming, Eric thought it might be too crazy and suggested I wait until the next one. I didn't object b/c honestly I wasn't feeling up to drinking at 7 am AND who can pass up sleeping? When Eric left he put the dogs up in their own room, so I could go back to sleep. I normally would not do this, however, Godiva thinks that when she gets up, the rest of the house should as well, thus tormenting and barking at the other dogs to drive us CRAZY until we actually get up. Anyhow, I got up around 8:30. No, it wasn't major sleeping in, but it made me feel good. I think I slept to much b/c my back was bothering me. I watched a few movies on TV and texted Eric a few times to see how much fun he was having. The game started at 12 and I flipped back and forth. Eric came home around 1:30 and stopped to pick up pizza on the way per my request. YUMMY! I ate entirely too much, but it was quite yummy. We watched football and flipped through a few other channels most of the evening. My sister Ash came over later that night and we chatted until finally couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.

Sunday was again spent on the couch. We slept in a bit and my sister left before 9 am. I managed to sit on the couch until about 1:30. I decided I better to "something" this weekend. So, I got up and mopped the kitchen floor. It looked better, but we really just need something different down there. The linoleum is quite worn and I just really hate it. Anyway after that I thought I better shower. I then proceeded to some baking in the kitchen. I baked Eric a chocolate cake and us some blueberry muffins. I cut up a salad for this week and made some chicken salad for my lunch this week. I felt pretty good about my accomplishments in only a few hours. We did manage to get out of the house a little bit Sunday evening. We went to dinner, mexican of course. After dinner we thought we'd stop by Staples and PetSmart, but they were both closed. :( We headed over to Best Buy and figured out what printer we would be buying so we can actually print pictures. My fridge collage is in horrible need of updating! We picked up a couple of movies than stopped by Target. We didn't find what we were looking for, but we wondered around there for a bit. I was looking for a couple particular photo frames, but I guess I'll keep looking. I finished the night off by watching Cold Case.

TTC Update
I haven't written much about TTC this month, but my chart is still at the side. I am in the "window of opportunity" right now and suffice it to say we are getting 'er done just fine. I am temping, too. I think we did (and are still doing) a fine job this month. We'll see if it pays off in the end. I'm not stressing about it or fret about it. We just do it as it comes and go with the flow this month. Of course it is in the back or our minds, but this month seems to be a little more relaxing...I think...I hope... I should be moving on to my LP any day now.

Therapy #6

Yesterday was my first appointment in nearly 2 weeks. I told her I was glad I didn't go last week, b/c I really didn't have anything to talk about and felt it would have been a waste of both of our times. She seemed content with that and told me to call anytime I didn't think our appointment was necessary. So essentially she agreed with me. Nice. Anyhow, I woke up in a nice mood yesterday. I was tired still, but my mood was good. I was chipper and it was just a good day all around. Apparently it showed b/c she commented that I really looked good before I even said anything so that was nice, too. Anyway we chatted about some things that had been going on and how I'd handled them. She thought I seemed to be handling things much better these days, which I agree. She really liked the fact that I "pampered" or "treated" myself this weekend and attributed those to my good mood. Obviously I should try to do that more often. She thinks my "cognitive thinking" has gotten much better in the last 2 weeks and I think it's mostly due to just feeling good in general. We plan on getting back to the gym regularly next week, plus I'm going to start cooking more at home and both of those things will again help me feel better about myself. Therapy yesterday wasn't exactly what you'd call therapy. We basically just chatted about things for an hour and I gave her $20 for her time. :D

Anyway, the best part is I've been upgraded to bi-weekly visits. She mentioned it and I told her I had planned on suggesting it myself. I feel like I'm getting back to being a little "normal". Whatever that is.

Oh, she also suggested I look into getting a primary care physician since I don't have one. She couldn't believe that 1) I didn't have one and 2) haven't for the last 4 years. I knew in the back of my head that I could always fall back on my old doc even though he was 45 min away if it was an emergency. So I've spent this morning (aside from cutting and filing my fingernails) looking for a PCP that will accomodate both mine and Eric's insurance (we have different ones). My therapist suggested I get a CBC (Complete Blood Count) as soon as possible and that I should get one every couple of years. I didn't even know such a thing existed, but decided it was a wonderful idea myself. Hopefully I can get that done soon, too.

Hooray for Jennifer

NO SPREADING OF THAT BITCH CANCER IN HER LYMPH NODES! Woohoo! It's about time she got some good news! She'll go into greater detail once she's feeling up to it!

Thoughts of Jennifer

I'll be thinking of you today! I hope your surgery goes well and look forward to finding out the results!

Oops!

I didn't take a single picture this weekend (in case you were wondering), so as soon as my girls send me their pics I'll upload them and post them. :D

GWO 10 - Chicago

We had our quarterly GWO this weekend and it was quite eventful, fairly relaxing and a bit odd...

Friday morning I got up at the crack of dawn and headed toward the train station. Thankfully the train was on time and didn't have any major delays on the way up. I got in shortly before 11 am. Chadd (Danialle's hubby) picked me up and we went back to the house. I was exhausted, so I ended up taking a nap. Chadd took me to Wendy's to grab lunch and then a while later we headed to Pete's to get my hair cut. He styled my hair his own way (and not much like I WANTED) and while I do like it, he didn't thin it out, so now I have to make an appt in town to get it thinned. Aw well, the shampoo was wonderful and I love getting my hair styled, so it was ok. Chadd picked me back up and we headed down to pick up Danialle from the train station. We dropped Chadd off and headed home for a quick stop then on to the airport to get Jennifer. We got there early, so we decided a stop for coffee was a necessity. While waiting for Jennifer we noticed their luggage was already going around, so we decided to try to find hers and we did! She was quite surprised when she came walking up and we had her luggage. After hugs we headed back to the car and home. When we got home Jamie (Danialle's sister) had just finished up making pizzas and we were all starving. We chatted for a while then went to bed.

Saturday we got up pretty early and went to breakfast at Square Kitchen. It was quite yummy! Then we headed downtown to State St. for some serious window shopping. We had a ball trying on scarves w/ Jennifer, I got a shirt for $2.15 and we chatted the day away. Finally we were starving so we decided to head back to their neck of the woods and stopped at Garcia's for the biggest burritos and cokes ever! Then we headed home. When we got there Danialle had arranged for her friend Shelby, who is going to massage school, to give us full body massages. She was absolutely wonderful. She did it just the way I like it. She was very careful around my tattoo, too. While I was getting my massage Jennifer & Danialle were preparing for a birthday party for Jamie. It was Italian Pirate themed. They made cupcakes and put them in a treasure chest w/ gold coins on each. The italian part was the food. We had fettucine w/ yummy marinara sauce, pumpkin tortoleni in a mushroom sauce, cheese ravioli, chicken w/ some sort of breading, & cheesey bread. It was marvelous! We jammed to some music and chatted and the party started dying down around midnight. We girls were exhausted from our day of shopping so we went to lay in Danialle's bed and figured we get back up after everyone left and move to the air mattress. Well, Chadd decided not to wake us, so we slept in the bed all night while he tried to get comfy in the recliner. It was a nice (warm & cozy) sleep. :D

Saturday morning we got up and Danialle made us scrambled omlets and toast. I've never eaten anything in my eggs besides bacon, but it was quite good (minus the peppers). After that we got ready and headed down to get our pedicures. I decided to get a frech tip pedicure, which I later realized was more expensive, but it turned out lovely. However, the lady cut one of my toes and messed up my big toe which I already have problems with. I decided it wasn't a major deal and I would just fix it myself later. About the time we were getting done another lady convinced us to get eyebrow waxes. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I had done it before, but this turned into a nightmare!! As soon as she finished with mine there were bright red and felt like they were on fire. This happened the time before, but it faded and was fine. This time it just kept getting worse. Brighter red, bumps, a little swollen, the works. Apparently I was having a reaction or something, but it was terrible. I hoped it would get better through the day and tried not worrying about it too much. We grabbed lunch at Chipotle and then headed to Evanston and got our movie tix for "In Her Shoes". While we were waiting for the movie to start we went to a few shops around there. Finally we headed back to the theatre and watched a great movie! We even got a little teary eyed. After the movie we headed back and met Chadd, Jamie, and her boyfriend at a Thai restaurant and had dinner. After dinner we were walking back to the car and out of no where something came hauling ass at me and hit me near the pelvic region, sorta top of the leg where it bends. I swear I thought I got shot or something. I froze and then saw the egg drop to the sidewalk and break. I have no idea why it didn't break when it hit me b/c it had to be traveling at 30+ mph. It brought tears to my eyes, but I have no bruise or anything (surprisingly)! We think someone was trying to egg cars and missed and hit me. By this time I was ready to leave Chicago. Cut toe, sore big toe, fire eyebrows, now the egg. We headed back home and went through some photo albums then headed to bed.

We got up yesterday morning and gathered all of our belongings. We dropped Jennifer off at the airport and then headed to M'ville to meet Eric so he could pick me up. Overall it was a nice relaxing weekend w/ just a few speed bumps.

BTW - My eyebrows are still red and broke out, but are slowly getting better.

T-A-T-T-O-O-S

Lovin' It!

Mine
Before


During


After


Mom's
Before


During


After


Both Together


Happy Ladies!


You can go here and see more in-depth photos!

Have a G-R-E-A-T weekend!!! I'll be back in action Monday!

My Weekend Starts Tonight

I'm leaving at 3:00 this afternoon. First stop - therapy. Should be pretty boring as I don't have much to talk about. I really wish we'd do these every 2 weeks and I think I will mention it to her tonight.

After that we are going down to C'ville to get my tattoo tonight. Stayed tuned for pictures tonight, but it won't be until late.

Tomorrow morning I get up before the sun and jump on the train headed to Chi-town for a fabulous weekend with.... Drumroll please...

MY GIRLS OF COURSE!

Weekend festivities include: new do by the one and only Pete the Hair God, massages, birthday party, pedicure, chick flick, and of course shopping! Even though we've each had some bad events happen w/in the last few months we will have a great weekend along with a few tears.

Fucking Indiana *update*

I'm moving! I can't even compose something here to post, so just check all these wonderful ladies out. They word it better than I could I'm sure. :D

In a Holding Pattern...

And I wasted all that birth control...

Hourse of Miao

herveryown

A little pregnant

And several other blogs.

Stop this fucking insanity and go here and give them hell. Otherwise I will have one more thing to look forward to in the near future since I live here...

*Update*
Courtesy of IndyStar.com - State Sen. Patricia Miller, R-Indianapolis, issued a one-sentence statement this afternoon saying: “The issue has become more complex than anticipated and will be withdrawn from consideration by the Health Finance Commission.”

Stupid old bat thought she could really get it through. Ha! I can only imagine how many e-mails and phone calls she got!

Seriously...

Are you fucking kidding me?

Web Search

I don't having anything extremely interesting to talk about right now, so thought I'd share some recent searches that lead to my blog.

gwo do you get sperm out - Good luck. I like to keep it in. No wasting it here! I'm 5th on the search list... Oh and GWO in my blog = "Girls Weekend Out".

how can i find me a temp to help me find a job - I'm assuming this person is not meaning the same kind of temping I do. Can you imagine? I'm 3rd on this search!

rupture of a kitten's eye - OMG, I hope it's ok! I don't even own a cat, so not sure how I popped up on this search!

mrs.t - Yay! That is me! I would hope it would find me up and put me at the top of the list!

Cycle 27

Today is CD 3. And to think that I might not end this last cycle? I knew I wasn't pregnant, but where was AF? I still don't know what caused the long cycle. I honestly think the shot had something to do with it, but no one seems to agree with me (at least in the medical profession). Anyway, lo and behold AF showed up Saturday. I should have started my clomid this morning but since it was the weekend, I wasn't getting a Rx. It bothered me for a minute and then I said O'well and went about my weekend. What's one day?

This morning I called the doc's office and explained my situation. They told me they'd call around and find a pharmacy that had clomid on hand so I could start it today. I also asked her to find out from Dr. S if I would be getting an U/S and hcG shot this month again.

She called me back later to let me know where I could pick up the Rx, so I guess I'll be taking it around lunch time this cycle. She also said that Dr. S didn't think it was necessary to do the U/S and shot this month. Fine with me although I felt at ease knowing I was being "monitored".

I am a little disappointed in Dr. S and his lack of progress. Even though I didn't like my previous fat, bald doc w/ zero bedside manners, he did nearly go into IF as a specialty and is still highly involved in it. I know he would have done a few IUIs before referring me on, too. I guess I can't dwell on the past, but I am looking forward to getting referred on if only to get some new insight and pick someone new docs brain. Maybe he can be of more help. Only 2 more cycles. No, I'm not assuming these next 2 cycles won't work, but I guess what I'm saying is that I'm ok with the idea of getting referred on, despite what we do for our next step(s).

Weekend Review

My weekend was good. I took Friday off work since Eric had a meeting all day. It wasn't necessary for me to take off work, but why not? It was needed. So I tried sleeping in, but the doggies didn't really like the idea, so I got up around 8. I surfed the web for a bit then took a shower and got ready and cleaned the house. My sister picked me up around 1-ish and we headed to C'ville. On our way down we stopped by the tattoo shop and talked to the guy about my tattoo (I get it done this Thursday). He worked on it and I think we've got it about right. Then we headed over to my grandparents house and chatted with them for a bit. We had planned on my mom, her boyfriend and my other sister meeting at BW3s for dinner so we headed back around 5-ish. We sat at BW3s forever until they finally arrived. We ate and chatted the evening away. We ran back to my sister's dorm and then they came to my house for a few minutes. I was beat by the time they left, so I went straight to bed.

Saturday morning our alarm went off at 6 am. I dropped Eric off at the bar for breakfast club about 6:30, then came home and crashed til around 8. I got up, took a shower and then went to Wally World to pick up a few things. Then headed back down to C'ville. Since Eric was busy all day, I had called my other grams to see if she wanted me to come over for lunch and of course she did. She loves cooking for me. We had a nice lunch then headed downtown to this art show/display that was going on. Basically they had several artists displayed in the store windows and you walk around and look at them. It was a PERFECT day to do this and it was interesting to see local artist's work. I left there around 3 and headed home to quite a mess. The football traffic had started and was quite heavy. I picked Eric up around 4:30 and we relaxed for a few hours. We then headed to my aunt and uncle's for a cookout for my cousin's birthday. It was nice seeing some of the family and visiting. We got home a little after 10 and again I was exhausted and hit the bed.

Yesterday we got up and had a lazy day all day. In fact, I barely moved off of the couch. We watched football all day and I did some reading and napping.

Therapy #5 - Cognitive Thinking

This therapy session was sorta dull. We talked about what was going on around me (Jen's Cancer, Danialle's throat, my IF). My IF actually became the extended topic of the hour this time. That and my cognitive thinking. I have a tendency towards negative thinking. We played this little game where I got to write down some negative thoughts, pick what kind of thoughts there were and then come up with some positive thoughts. Some of my positive thoughts came off as assvice and I was a little irked by the time I left there. Here are some thoughts I'm supposed to be having:

"I'm still young"

"We still have many other options"

"I still have 2 more months of clomid before getting referred on"

Why do these positive thoughts seem like such assvice? Maybe it was PMS or something b/c I had no desire to talk to her this time. Seriously it's very hard to stay positive after 2 YEARS!

My homework for this week is to evaluate the times we I have an argument with Eric (or anyone else). Identify my negative thoughts and then come up with positive ones. We had little fun with this right after when I was telling him about it. I'm an argumentative person. I like to argue about stuff sometimes if the mood strikes me. Not all the time of course.

So, we'll see how this week goes. I go back on Thursday.

CD 1

She came today.