My records have been received... Eric's, oops... **updated**

Finally I confirmed with Dr. B's office that all of my records have been received. Unfortunately they forgot Eric's bloodwork, so I made an urgent call to Dr. S's office who said they would fax it out today. I just hope they follow through. So here's the breakdown of all of the information I got today...

- Apparently my pap came back abnormal or ASCUS (atypical cells of undetermined significance), which they then tested for HPV as routine procedure. Thankfully that came back negative, so we are in the clear. Apparently another patient had the same thing and they cleared them, so there won't be any problem with mine.

-Gonorrhea & Chlamydia test came back negative/fine.

-My blood work-up came back fine.

-I am a type A- blood type. This is vital information to know. Basically if Eric is A+ then we have a 50/50 percent of our baby being A+. If it is a + then my body would produce antibodies that would reject it and I could miscarry. If I miscarried then I need to let whoever does my D&C know I am A- and they will give me a shot, which has antibodies so I won't reject future pregnancies. Unfortunately they don't normally do this until after you miscarry. Although from some research I've done on-line it looks like they might be able to give me small doses of the shot at certain points in the pregnancy, too. So it doesn't seem to be quite as scary as when I was first told, but still a little scary. I guess I understand the whole idea of it, but it's sorta confusing, so if anyone else has anymore information or is in the same situation, please e-mail me or leave a comment.

We also went over where I was at in my cycle again. As I think I said before G is going to be gone this weekend. Here's a breakdown of possibilities of start dates. Of course all this really depends on when AF decides to show...

-If I start Thursday morning it would be CD 1, then we would go to Dr. B's office on Friday for bloodwork, drugs & training.

-If I start Thursday afternoon/evening, they would consider Friday CD 1. We'd go down on Friday for drugs & training and back on Saturday for bloodwork.

-If I start Friday morning, again it would be CD 1 and we'd go down that afternoon for drugs & training and then back again on Saturday for blood work.

-If I started Friday afternoon (making Saturday CD 1) or later we'd go down on CD 2 for bloodwork and go back in Monday morning for drugs & training.

Obviously the best would be to make a single trip for both meaning I'd need to start sometime Thursday or Friday morning. I guess we'll see how that plays out. Maybe for once AF will arrive early and please us all.

I think I covered it all. We talked about so much and my brain is overwhelmed right now. Back to sitting and waiting on my period...

**Updated to add**
G called back this evening and she got Eric's blood work. Hooray for a fast response at Dr. S's office. Anyway, everything on him came back fine and we found out he is O+.

I asked her a little more about the A- thing and she said it won't make me miscarry my first pregnancy. They just need to know in case I start showing signs of rejection. Also regardless I will get the shot when I deliver because if the baby is '+', then I will have already built up some antibodies that could effect future pregnancies. I'm relieved that it won't directly affect my first pregnancy. She understood my concern and questions, so that was good, too. :D

Giving ample warning to my work...

I scheduled a meeting with my 2 co-workers for 4:30 pm to talk about some upcoming appointments I would be having. I spent the day going over things in my head (what to tell them, what not to tell them, how to say "don't ask me questions", etc.) Finally 4:30 rolled around and I gave them the details they needed and left out the ones they didn't. Overall it went ok. Of course I could only give them warning and told them I would know more details next week. My female co-worker asked some questions and I just told her I didn't want a lot of questions because it is too much pressure and said that I would tell her stuff that I felt comfortable with. In fact, none of our family (besides my in-laws) are even aware of what we are about to go through and for that reason. She said that she could still ask and I said, "yes, but I might ignore you or tell you I'm not discussing it" and smiled. I think she got the point. Of course she also brought up multiples to which I replied twins at most... She asked why and so I told her they are only transferring only 2 embryos. She just said "oh." This is the co-worker that drives me crazy, too.

Record Transfer - Round 2

I called Dr. S's office this morning to find out if my records had been faxed to Dr. B's office. I was put on hold forever, and then they realized I was talking to the wrong person so they forwarded me to the nurse's station. The nurse was clueless! (surprise!) She didn't even know if my blood work had come back. They were going to pull my file and call me back.

Finally got a call back & they just received the rest of the blood work results today, so they will be faxing everything this afternoon. Not sure why it took an entire week to get my lab results when it should only take 1-2 days, but whatever. They have it now and Dr. B's office will have it this afternoon. Now I just hope everything is ok for Dr. B's office. I guess I'll find out this afternoon or tomorrow b/c I imagine they will call if it's not. If not then I'll call tomorrow afternoon b/c I'm anal like that...

I'm starting to stress a little now... I'm getting a fever blister... This time next week I will likely be injecting drugs into myself. YIKES!

Hair, Caidence, Anal Probes, Chicken Poop, Pacers & Speed Humps

Saturday morning I got up and headed to C'ville first thing. I visited with my dad & Peg for a while and she trimmed my hair. I wanted it more angled, shorter in back and angled longer in the front, but she didn't angle it enough, so I wasn't extremely pleased, but it was ok. She knew I wasn't as pleased with it, but it's also different when I get home and actually fix it myself. After cutting my hair we headed to town to meet sister K & Caidence for lunch. Isn't she the cutest?



We played with her and ate. She was cranky b/c she's having problems eating. She has reflux real bad and actually spits up everything she eats. Needless to say K's going to make her an appointment this week at the children's hospital. It was fun seeing her though regardless. I kept telling her I was going to photoshop her bib to say "I love my aunt!" Oh and do you see her teeth coming in? So cute!

After lunch I met up with Danialle. We stopped by a local tattoo shop to schedule an appointment for some tattoos we are getting done in the future. The guy was super nice and we were pleased with his work and such, so we scheduled the appointment. He is new in town and has had several people cancel out on him, so he's requiring a $20 downpayment, which was fine, too. Neither of us had cash, so we headed over to the atm to get some real quick. As I was pulling out of the bank, I got sidetracked by this...



which caused me to turn the WRONG WAY down a one-way street!!! You'll notice all the cars are parked facing me and there is even a car turing towards us... We got so tickled that I even did it that I pulled a U-y and then pulled back into the bank, so we could get a picture for evidence. By this time we were in tears from laughing so hard. Good times.

After we dropped off our $20 deposit, we headed over to the local ice cream shop for some cherry & vanilla cokes. YUM! We then headed out to visit my brother's grave & cleaned up some leaves that were around it. (I miss him loads!!)

I had mentioned that I really wanted to dye my hair again and so we decided to head to Wal*Mart so she could help me pick out some hair color. We found a color that was quite bold and got out of that crazy store fast. After leaving there I dropped her off to her husband and headed home myself.

Eric & I ran a few errands when I got home, then my sister came over and dyed my hair this color...



It's really dark and had a hint of red in it. I like it, but it's definitely bold. We made some healthy chilli (using V8, ground turkey, & wheat pasta) and enjoyed the rest of the evening.

Sunday we picked up Ashlee & Hugh and headed to the Pacers game. We had intended to get them to a Colts game, but weren't able to get the tickets, so they were content with going to see the Pacers. We saw this on our way there...



How'd you like to rub that on your lips? GAG!

Here's a couple pics from the game.




Finally we headed home, exhausted from our weekend. We dropped them off and took a picture of this...



We see this sign all the time and keep saying we wanted to get a picture. So it just so happened we had our camera with us as we passed this time.

We spent the evening on the couch and went to bed early.

Blood work from hell.... Part Two....

I called Dr. B's office this afternoon to find out if they had received the paperwork from Dr. S's office yet although I was pretty sure I already knew the answer. Had to leave a voicemail...

G called me back and they have not received anything from Dr. S's office yet. I told her I would call them and she should have it tomorrow or Monday at the latest. Dr. S's office is slow obviously. She didn't seem concerned as long as they had it when I started. She told me that they had a recent retrieval of 23 eggs! Wow! They have also had great fertilization with the participants who have gone though so far, too. Their goal is a minimum of 10 good eggs retrieved and fertilization of 8-9 eggs. That sounds just fine to me. She asked me again where I was in my cycle. (You would think she'd write down an estimate since its all based around that...) Apparently G is going to be away the weekend I’m expecting my period, but it wouldn't be a big deal as one of the nurses would just get me set up. She also said that on Day 2 when we came in for the blood work they could just go through injection training and give me all of the meds that day. If something happened and my levels weren't right then we would just bring everything back to them. This made me happy because that's one less trip there and back. She said that if for some reason my levels weren't right then we still had another month to try and be part of the study. Woohoo! Finally she made sure we were aware that when we go in on the Day 2 testing we had to pay our out-of-pocket that day, which is fine. We have it in the bank and ready. I told her I'd call her again on Monday afternoon if I hadn't heard from her that she'd received anything.

I immediately called Dr. S's office. There are out today (figures), but I was able to talk to his receptionist. She said they were waiting on my blood work (surprise). She said it's likely that he got it today, but just hadn't looked at it yet and gotten it to my file. She had my records waiting to be faxed, but since I put on my form that I wanted that blood work faxed, too they had to wait on it. Dr. S is in surgery tomorrow, but he usually goes through some paperwork so they hope to get it out tomorrow or Monday. I will say that Dr. S knows it's urgent, so I am certain he wouldn't hold it up on his end.

Still more waiting... I'll be glad to just have to worry about the Day 2 testing...

How do you like me now??

If you'll remember a while back I asked for helping changing up my blog. Well, the wonderful and creative Miss Milenka offered up her services. She came up with this lovely new look! I'm loving the new look. Please let me know how you like it as well. Or if something changed that you loved from my previous look or a color that's bugging you. I've changed a few things (adding, deleting, tweaking) so I may well have not copied everything over right. :D My mind is going about a gazillion different ways right now. ha ha ha

Thanks again Milenka! You are the greatest!

Blood work from hell...

Yesterday we went to get our blood work for infectious disease, HIV, hepatitis, etc.... What a nightmare!!! My favorite blood drawing nurse was not in much to my disappointment. Nurse I (for idiot) took us back and we were back there for nearly 1 hour! She had to enter all of our information in the computer. It took her f-o-r-e-v-e-r to figure out what exactly I was supposed to get done. You would think she had never done this before... At one point she even had to call the lab to find a code of one of the blood draws. Finally she turned around to take my blood. One down, one to go... Eric & I switched seats and she started going over all of the stuff he needed tested for. It was same as mine minus a couple of things. At some point she decided she did something wrong and went back to mine and printed new labels. She kept mumbling things and said she hoped we got it right. I honestly think she changed my insurance company to Eric's (we each have our own). She entered Eric's information and finally took his blood, too. We also found out that they still had me under my old doc at that clinic and I'm sure I've had blood taken since I changed over a year ago... Needless to say, I'm calling Dr. B's office on Thursday and if they haven't received my information I'm going in with my blood boiling... :D I guess if this is the worst thing that happens then it isn't so bad.

IVC - Part 1 or what's been going on in my life the last few weeks...

And now the moment you've all been waiting for.... I present to you...The Whole Story-IVC Study

This is from my journal that I started after finding out about the study so each day is who I was feeling that day.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006
The Article - Where it all started...
It all started with this article. I was intrigued and forwarded it to my two friends & thought to myself that I'd talk to Eric about it that evening. A few minutes later I got an e-mail from Eric forwarding me the link to the article. A few minutes after that my friend Danialle replied and told me to find out how to get involved in the study. I called Eric and we talked about it. I made him call the clinic to find out details of how to get involved because I was at work. He called me back and gave me the link for the study details. He said I should look over it, make sure I meet the criteria, then call to make an appointment for a consultation. We met all of the criteria except a few, but I decided to call anyway. I got voicemail, left my information and waited for them to call back.

That afternoon, I got a call back from G. She is the coordinator for this study. We went over a few things like the study criteria, etc. I told her that there were a couple of things we either hadn't had done or where out of date and she said that it was not a big deal, that they would just need them to be done before we could be included. She told me they were taking 15 patients for the study, plus 5 and a waiting list of 5. (This was a bit confusing and still is, but I went with it.) I asked her if essentially I'm #7 on the waiting list and #22 on the actual list. She said yes. This scared me a bit and I knew having 7 drop out of a group of 15 was a long shot, but it was worth it to us. She asked me when we were available for a consultation and we settled on February 28.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006
The Consultation
I took the whole day off work. I had therapy that morning and then we headed to Indy. I was so nervous that I couldn't eat breakfast. I had hot chocolate, then stopped at Star*buck's for a mocha. My stomach was in knots. We realized after we left the house that we left the address and directions at home, but thought we would be ok as we were pretty sure we knew where it was. We stopped at Olive*Garden for lunch, then headed to Indy to find the office. As soon as we found them, we hit the bathrooms, located where we needed to go and then had an hour before our appointment. We drove around the neighborhood as it's a real ritzy one. Finally it was time to head back.

When we got there I checked in at the receptionist. The look on her face had me worried. She asked me if I was a study patient and I told her I talked to G last week and set up this consultation for today. She told me G had to go to the other office for an emergency, but she'd call her. By this time I was getting mad. She asked me how far we had driven and I told her an hour. Finally she got in touch with G, who confirmed my appointment and told her that one of the nurses could go over everything with us. RELIEF! She gave me a bunch of stuff to fill out. I was upset because it asked all these questions that I didn't have the answers to. I had asked G last week if I needed to bring anything and she said no, so I wasn't prepared. I filled them out to the best of my knowledge and figured we could get the other information later. I handed it back in and shortly thereafter the nurse called me.

Nurse A took us back to this little room and we started going over all the criteria. The tests we needed to get done to be included are as follows:

* Day 3 FSH and E2 Blood Work
* Negative Cervical Cultures for Gonorrhea & Chlamydia, which they said I should have done at my March 1 pap
* Semen analysis - By their specific lab because of strict criteria
* Uterine Cavity Assessment by hysteroscopy - Could be done in their office
* Negative Wet Prep or Cervical Culture for Bacterial Vaginosis - Could be done in their office
* Normal Baseline Pelvic Ultrasound - Could be done in their office

We went over the exclusion criteria, which we passed with flying colors. They mentioned that they liked that I was young, making me wonder if I was the youngest person interested. Next was a short explanation of the procedure. It was basically IVF with a twist. The twist was the little device they put inside you for 3 days to allow fertilization rather than fertilizing the egg in a Petri dish. We went over the drugs I'd be on (Gonal-F, Cetrotide, Ovidrel, Crinone 8% Progesterone Gel). Then we chatted briefly about some other things like the opportunity to freeze the left over embryos for future, acupuncture, etc. Finally we got the meet Dr. B.

Dr. B was a nice man, funny even. He joked about our names, of course asking us what we planned on naming our kids. He showed us the device and went over in a little greater detail exactly what the procedure entailed. They retrieve 10 eggs, which are put into the device with sperm & media. They put the device inside you for 3 days then remove it & compare all the embryos and transfer the best 2 back into you. The study started in January and they have performed it on 2 people so far. He said what they are finding is that the embryos are thriving better inside the body as opposed to in a lab. Basically because with them being inside you they are at your body's constant temperature and are exposed to your own body's gases. Then he said something that nearly made my heart stop... They were taking 20 patients and could even get a few more spots later. G had told me last week that they were only taking 15, so I was super excited. Also 2 patients had already been eliminated.

Could we now be within the 20???

Finally the meeting was over. Nurse A told me G would be calling me the next day, Wednesday, to go over a few more things with me. They would schedule the semen analysis and the UTA, culture, and U/S. Then all we would be waiting on would be the Day 3 FSH & E2.

We left there on cloud 9! We had such a positive feeling from the whole appointment. It's still a waiting game, but we feel like we are much closer. We sort of feel like if all our tests come back and we are included then we'll be just that, included, as opposed to being on the waiting list.


Wednesday, March 1, 2006
Phone Call to G
Nurse A had told me that if I hadn't heard from G by the afternoon to call the office. So about 1:45, I couldn't wait any longer and I called. Apparently G had to stay in the other office an additional day and wouldn’t be back in the Indy office until Thursday. I said that was fine, that I understood and that I would just wait for her call on Thursday. No big deal.

The Pap
Ironically enough I had this scheduled before the study happened and it worked out perfectly. I got right in to see Dr. S without waiting too long. The nurse took my weight and blood pressure and asked me if there was anything more I need to discuss with the doctor. I promptly said I needed to get the Gonorrhea & Chlamydia test and a culture for Bacterial Vaginosis. I'm sure her first thought was that I had been "exposed", so I told her that I was involved in a study and that they needed this done. She just said ok, told me to get undressed and the doctor would be right in. She was right. I didn't sit on the table, but maybe 2 minutes before Dr. S was in. (I knew I liked this doctor!) He asked me the reasoning for those additional tests and I explained what was going on. He said doing them was fine. He asked if this was the study with Dr. B and I immediately grew excited because he knew about it. Woohoo! He seemed to think it was a good thing. I also told him that I would be calling when my period starts again to schedule the Day 3 FSH & E2 tests needed. He did my pap and the tests and said the culture looked fine and I was on my way.

Phone Call with G
The home phone rang shortly after 8 pm. I was on my cell phone. I hear Eric talking and I assume it's a family member, but then he comes in and says it's Dr. B's office. I end my cell phone call and grab the phone. G said that she got the impression that I was expecting a call from her today, Wednesday. I explained that yes, Nurse A had said she would call, but that when I called and found out she was still at the other office, I just figured she'd call on Thursday. It was not a big deal. She proceeded to go over everything with me. First things first, Eric needed to get a semen analysis from their specific lab because they have strict criteria. I told her he would call first thing Thursday morning and schedule it for Monday or Tuesday of next week because we hadn't had intercourse recently. As we were going over the other stuff I mentioned my laparoscopy that I had done last April. She wants me to call Thursday morning and find out if they checked inside my uterus as well as this is common in most laps. If they did check it then I need to get that information faxed to their office. If they didn't, then after Eric's semen analysis comes back ok we need to schedule a hysteroscopy next week to check. They would basically shoot fluid into my uterus and do an ultrasound to make sure I'm fine. Prior to the hysteroscopy we would need to use protection when we have intercourse. I nearly fell over when she said this. In 2 1/2 years I've never been told to use protection! ha ha ha I obliged though. After that then we wait for my period to show. As soon as my period shows I call their office, go in for blood work on Day 2 to check my FSH & E2 and if those come back fine I would start the drugs on Day 3. I sorta freaked at this point. I said "So we are in if Eric's analysis comes back fine and my uterus is fine?" She said yes, that they were now taking 20 and I was on the list. Holy crap! This means I could be starting as early as the end of MARCH! We are already in the month of MARCH! She said that if I go in on Day 2 and my FSH isn't where they want it to be then I still have another chance when I start my period at the end of April. Oh My God! She said she'd talk to me tomorrow after I found out about the lab and my uterus and we'd go from there.

Then the phone rang again. It was G. She said she forgot to ask me the most important thing... "Why were we doing this?" I sat there speechless thinking isn't the reason obvious? We want to get pregnant! She must have sensed it because she said what she meant was if there was a reason for us not getting pregnant in the past. Oh! I said no, that we were considered "unexplained" that they had done some testing on us and did find mild endometriosis, but otherwise there was no reason why we weren't getting pregnant. She said good and told me she'd talk to me tomorrow.

After I got off the phone I freaked. I was so excited, yet guardedly optimistic. We still have a few tests to go through before we are actually IN, but we are even closer now! I think things will be on our side and allow us to go through this. Even if we don't get pregnant we are part of a HUGE clinical trial that is so amazing in itself. Of course I do want a child out of this, don't get me wrong.

Thursday, March 02, 2006
Collecting Information and Making Appointments
Eric called and got his semen analysis set up for Monday, March 6 at 9:00 am.

I called Dr. S's office to find out when they did my laparoscopy last April if they also checked the inside of my uterus (hysteroscopy). I was fairly certain they hadn't, but needed to confirm. As I suspected they had not checked the inside.

So I called Dr. B's office to let them know the details of Eric's appointment and schedule a hysteroscopy for me. G said the results usually take 3-5 days, if I haven't heard anything by March 9 then to call her and she'd call to find out the results. If the results are good we could schedule my hysteroscopy for next Saturday, March 11.

Panic sets in with Eric because Dr. B's office said that two couples had already been eliminated due to semen analyses. That's why they are waiting on his results before they do the hysteroscopy on me. I don't think he has anything to worry about though.


Monday, March 6, 2006
The Semen Analysis
9:00 am – Eric went for his semen analysis. We should have the results in 3-5 days & definitely by the end of the week. G told me to call on Thursday if we hadn't heard from her yet, hopefully she'll call on Wednesday though!

Therapeutic Massage
I scheduled a massage in hopes of de-stressing myself a bit and helping to pass the waiting game away. It was great! She really massaged all of my tension spots. So much in fact, that my shoulders were actually sore after my massage. The rest of my body felt great though.

Tuesday, March 7, 2006
Wellness Screening
Had to go for a wellness screening at work at 7:45 pm. Work is offering this wellness screening and health assessment incentive. Just for doing both they send you a $100 check. Same goes for Eric. He had a complete physical last fall for his so we just had to call for the results. We are still waiting. My screening went well. My HDL was right on the line and I can increase that to a "normal" level by exercising a little more and eating more fruits and veggies. I thought I was already doing this, but I guess I'll do more. Overall I'm in good health though. Woohoo!

Wednesday, March 8, 2006
Call from G - The Results
Shortly before 4 pm my cell phone rang and I realized it was Dr. B's office. Wow, a day earlier than I expected! I answered and it was G. They had got Eric's results and everything was fine with him. Next step was to get me in for the hysteroscopy. I told her Saturday, March 11 would work best for us so I wouldn't have to miss work. We had already planned on this day anyway. She said it would be Saturday morning, but she would call tomorrow with a specific time. I'm so excited! This was definitely an early birthday present for me! Yay!

Pedicure
Scheduled a Pedicure again to de-stress me a bit and help pass the waiting game away although since we got good news this afternoon I have a little relief. Now I just have to fret over Saturday's appointment. Now I can have pretty toes when I'm up in stirrups. ha ha ha I don't like feet, so I'd much rather let someone else pretty them up than have to do it myself and during the spring & summer (or in stirrups...) when I'll be showing them off it's even a better reason!

Thursday, March 9, 2006 - My Birthday!
Happy Birthday to Me!
Today I turned 27 years old. I don't feel old, so to speak, just a little older.

Call from G - Time Scheduled
G called late in the afternoon and let us know that we should be there at 10:30 am on Saturday for the hysteroscopy and ultrasound.

Saturday, March 11, 2006
Hysteroscopy & Ultrasound
We arrived at about 10:10 or so. Eric stopped off at the restroom and I stood outside and took deep breaths. I had to have a partially full bladder so no restroom for me. I was so nervous!!! When we got upstairs there was a sign on the receptionist's window that said come on back, so we did. We finally got to meet G in person. She told us to have a seat in the consultation room and she'd be right in. Thankfully she eased my nerves because she came in and we started going over some stuff since she hadn't actually met with us yet. We were a little overwhelmed because there is some out of pocket expense. We knew of only the acupuncture expense. We found out that we have the cryo (freezing of remaining embryos) expense. They do not destroy embryos, which we found to be great news. Of course we'll have a storage fee and we can use them either for ourselves in the future or we can donate them. Also if I produce more than 10 eggs, we have the option of fertilizing those (above the 10 for the device) regularly in a petri dish and freezing the resulted embryos. We went over some stuff I needed to do this week. I have to call my doc and have my recent pap results sent to them with the G/C culture results. Also Eric & I have to get some blood work done to make sure neither of us has HIV or an infectious disease. Not major stuff, just routine I suppose.

Finally we were ready to do the hysteroscopy, which was a b-r-e-e-z-e! It was fast and painless and my ute was perfect. We talked a bit more and G said to call her on CD 1 and we were on our way.

I wasn't really sure what to say when we left. I was so overwhelmed that this is actually happening now. We've spent the last few weeks preparing for this moment, what with all the tests and documents, etc. and now we are basically clear to start the cycle as soon as I start my period! I think I'm going through all of the emotions right now. The money freaked me out and I was scared Eric would say that we just couldn't afford it. It isn't that much, in fact it's less than we would pay for an IUI, but Eric was totally on board though and we are both extremely excited about it.

Monday, March 13, 2006
Call to Dr. S - Records and Blood work
Called Dr. S's office and we get to go in today. I, of course, have to fill out some forms to give consent for them to send my records to Dr. B's office. We are also able to do our blood work there and have that sent over with the other documents. Hopefully that will be a little better for insurance purposes.

Still rather boring...

I've thought about what I can talk about this afternoon and really it doesn't amount to much, so I'll just ramble a bit...

* We had dinner for my birthday last night at a Japanese*Steakhouse. We had the entire place to ourselves! It was quite nice. I got Chicken & Shrimp Teriyaki, Veggies & Fried Rice and it was wonderful.

* I got the cutest birthday card from my niece. She signed my card w/ her footprints. How sweet!

* We are still going through some tests before we are officially "IN" for the study. Hopefully I can share a little more with you next week. I've got to work out a few details. Wish me luck b/c tomorrow I go for a BIG test in the morning. Hopefully they say everything is perfect and give us the big "All Clear".

* I'm sorry I'm keeping you in suspense about this study. I feel weird talking about it until we are officially in. Even then I won't tell you the twist of it b/c it's so new. Let's say if I do a search on X, I find less than 10 results. I am keeping a journal tracking the "whole story" that I hope to post later, probably in a couple months. Mostly I just don't want to jinx ourselves. I hope you can forgive me for the time being.

* My co-worker (the one who "doesn't acknowledge Halloween") is on vacation all next week. I'm trying to be a little nicer b/c she did give me a $20 gift certificate to Star*buck's for my birthday...

* Still don't know anything about my old job. Hoping to hear something more next week. They definitely want me back, just not sure on all the details and if its going to be worth my while to go back.

* Sunday we are meeting my in-laws for my birthday. I really have had a whole week of celebrating this year. Considering it started last Saturday w/ a dinner at my Dad's and is going through this Sunday w/ lunch w/ my inlaws. Yay! Love Birthdays!

*I've been working on eating healthier and exercising more. Eating healthier is going pretty well. Exercising is not going so good b/c we've just been so busy. I know as soon as the weather changes the exercising will change, too. Recently I decided to stop eating red meat altogether. And the only pork I eat is in sausage gravy, but I think I can find turkey sausage to even substitute that. So essentially I eat turkey, chicken, and the occassional fish. I also am trying really hard not to eat fast food. So far it's going pretty good. I think I've only eating fast food a couple of times in the last 3 weeks or so. That's not bad. I'm feeling better in general. I'm s-l-o-w-l-y shedding a few pounds, too. I'm trying to be realistic about it, too and make it fit into our lifestyle, which includes eating out a few times a week. It's slow going, but it will come off. I have no doubt. And as long as I don't gain anything I'm fairly content with where I'm at. I say fairly b/c is anyone ever content with their weight? Ugh!

Ok, enough of my ramblings. Hope you all have a good weekend!

Friday Feast

Appetizer
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how intuitive do you think you are?
Maybe a 6 or 7?

Soup
What is your favorite kind of gum?
I like cinnamon gum the best.

Salad
Name a CD you own that you would never get rid of.
Definitely my Power Ballads mix CD! ha ha ha

Main Course
When was the last time you said something you didn't mean?
Hmmm.... I'm not sure on this one. I'm a very blunt person and I don't normally need to take back anything I say. I say thing to Eric sometimes that come out wrong, but he knows what I'm meaning. :D

Dessert
What is the sum of the numbers in your birthdate?
3 + 9 + 1 + 9 + 7 + 9 = 38

This sort of a boring Friday Feast. I'll try to talk about something interesting this afternoon...

Happy Birthday To Me!

Today I turn 27. Wow! I don't feel old, however I do feel a bit older. I enjoy birthdays, but this year I just don't seem quite as excited about it. Probably b/c I have a ton of other things to keep me quite occupied. Today is a windy, rainy day but my grams told me last night that the weather was the same some 27 years ago.

For my birthday I got the following so far:

*Kitchen Aid Food Processor
*Trail Shoes
*Pedicure
*Mullah $$ (with which I purchased a 2 new shirts)
*Several Cards
*DQ Ice Cream Cake (yummy!)

Now a few fun things...

Your Birth Month is March

You love life and exude an outgoing, cheerful vibe. Blessed with a great sense of humor, you can laugh at adversity. Your soul reflects: Respect, desire, and generosity Your gemstone: Aquamarine Your flower: Daffodil Your colors: White and light blue

What happened in 1979...
*Jimmy Carter is president of the US
*A major accident occurs at a nuclear reactor on Three Mile Island near Middletown, PA
*An American Airlines DC-10 loses its engine and crashes seconds after takeoff, killing 275 people
*Hurricane David kills over 1200 in the US and the Dominican Republic
*Some 90 people, including 63 Americans, are taken hostage at the American Embassy in Tehran, Iran
*The Soviet Union invades Afghanistan
*ESPN starts broadcasting
*Aaliyah, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Norah Jones, Heath Ledger, and Kate Hudson are born
*Pittsburgh Pirates win the World Series
*Pittsburgh Steelers win Superbowl XIII (ironically a repeat in 2006, too)
*Montreal Canadiens win the Stanley Cup
*Kramer vs. Kramer is the top grossing film
*Sophie's Choice by William Styron is published
*"My Sharona" by The Knack spends the most time at the top of the US charts
*The Facts of Life premiers (I'm knee deep in them myself right now...)

Pamper Mrs. T Week

This week has been quite crazy. Monday as I said before I had a theraputic massage. OMG! It was wonderful, however the chic was really into massaging every SINGLE tension spot in my shoulders. It felt great at the time, but my shoulders are still sore today. I think next time I'll just go for the swedish. Its not as hard/deep as I like it, but the theraputic was a bit too hard at least on my shoulders. Still relaxing though.

Tuesday I had to go for a wellness screening for work. See they are offering this incentive right now that I just couldn't pass up. Both employee and spouse can participate and if they do all 4 steps, they'll send each of us a $100 check. Eric had a physical for an insurance policy last fall, so we only need to get those results for his wellness step. Last night we headed over to get mine done. They check your height, weight, blood pressure, cholesterol, HDL and glucose. Overall I was in great health. I probably need to lose a few pounds although I'm already working on that. And my HDL was right on the line, so I need to work on increasing that. Basically the higher the number the better. To increase that I have to eat more fruits and veggies and exercise more. I'm doing pretty good on eating fruits and veggies although I'm sure I could do better. I'm desparately lacking on the exercise. I'm trying to get a couple days in a week, but it's rough. I know it will get much more frequent when the weather warms a little more b/c we spend a ton of time outside... Gardening/landscaping, biking, walking the dogs, etc. I just have to do the best I can until it warms up.

Tonight I go for my pedicure. I can't wait! I've seriously been neglecting my toes. I'm embarrased about them. It's just so much nicer for someone else to cut them and pretty them up! Maybe I'll take a picture of them tonight for you to see the final look. I won't make you gag at the before pic though. ha ha ha

Tomorrow is my birthday!!! Yay!

What to do, what to do???

I have just today been presented a crossroad... My old job has opened back up... It is still currently at the lower level, but they are checking into upgrading it to a higher level (just for me). The new level would definitely including web duties, which I did before, but not to the extent it would be now.

I really like my current job b/c of the interaction with the students. However it isn't any more or less challenging than my old job.

The potential is that a girl in that office would take maternity leave and not come back and I could essentially move right into that position, which is basically what I do now.

The risk is that the department is in major debt and currently under review. A previous similar department just went through this and laid off several people. I could be in that situation. It's unlikely with some of the new duties I would have, but it is a possibility.

I'm not sure about pay either. I would want a little more money and I don't know if this is an option. I suppose if they want me bad enough it would be an option though. And yes they want me back, I'm certain of that...

I guess I'll see what happens in the next few days... Wish me luck. I know the decision will be clear when all the options are presented to me.

As if I needed one more thing to think about with all that's going on in my life right now...

Weekend Recap

This weekend was a little busy. Friday night we grabbed dinner and ran some errands and then relaxed at home before going to bed. Eric has a lot going on with his job right now and he's pretty stressed about it. He was in a meeting for a good portion of the day Friday. Hopefully I'll be able to share more later.

Saturday I got up and started working on another turkey creation as we were going to my dad's for dinner that night. We had bought a breast on Thursday that I let thaw in the fridge. When I got it out Sunday morning I panicked b/c I realized it was a breast w/ a bone in it. I hadn't thought about how to prepare this so I made Eric go get one w/out a bone it in. He went to our regular grocery store and apparently they only carry the "bone in" ones now, so I made him go to the other grocery store down the road. Thankfully they had one. I decided I was going to have to at least cook the "bone in" one anyway and that it probably would have worked out in the end. So I put the "bone in" breast into the roaster and let it go. Then I took the regular breast and put it in the crockpot. I put together maple syrup, cinnamon & some amaretto and used that to basted both breasts in. Then periodically, about every 30 minutes or so, I poured regular maple syrup over it. It smelled yummy all morning. Finally the "bone in" breast was done. I took it out and let it cool, then dissected it. Unfortunately it was also a breast that had the skin on it, so after I peeled that all off you couldn't taste as much of the sweetness. It was still good and very moist though. Then, my sister & her boyfriend came over to do laundry early afternoon and I fixed them the leftover citrus & garlic turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans and biscuits. Apparently it was a hit!

Around 3:00 we packed everything up and headed to C'ville. We stopped at my brothers grave then headed to my dad's. Surprisingly they had also invited my grandparents who I haven't seen since Thanksgiving, so I was very excited! We chatted and fixed some things, then began slicing the turkey. The turkey was a big hit. You could definitely taste the sweetness of the maple syrup. My stepmom poured some of the juices over it and that made it even better. Definitely something I will cook again, too! After dinner Eric took a nap, my dad & gramps sat and talked and my stepmom, grams & I played some cards and talked. It was nice just sitting around visiting with them. We had some ice cream cake and then left around 8:30 to head home.

Sidenote: I'd definitely recommend the maple syrup and cinnamon baste for a turkey. I think I'd scratch the amaretto in the future. I'll have to experiment with it a little more.

After we got home, Eric had a headache and went to bed. I stayed up with the dogs for a little while since they'd been couped up for a few hours. I heard this weird noise coming from the kitchen... Godiva was caught picking ice cubes out of the sink. We had used them to keep the ice cream cake cold for our trip home... Isn't this hilarious?? I joked that maybe she was inspired by all the cooking I've been doing and wanted to help out with the dishes.


Sunday was a little lazier. We got up, had breakfast and read the newspaper. Then we ran some errands. First off we wondered around Tar*get. We don't get there as often anymore and I was really in the wondering mood. Not so good on the checkbook though. After that we grabbed lunch, then stopped for groceries. Now that I'm cooking more it seems like our grocery bill is getting higher, but I suppose that's ok if we aren't eating out as much.

After we got home I baked some brownies. I have been craving them and I had a coupon, so why not? Then I made a salad and used my early birthday present to cut up the carrots and such. I spent the afternoon watching "Yours, mine & ours", which was quite funny and spent the evening watching the Law & Order marathon and munching on junk food.

This week is going to be crazy busy for us. Tonight I have a much needed massage at 6:30 and Eric is going to the city council meeting to argue about the smoking ban. Tomorrow I have this wellness screening for work. Wednesday I'm going to have a pedicure after work. Thursday is MY BIRTHDAY! We should also find out the results of one of our tests. Saturday we may be going to Indy for another test. Sunday we are meeting my in-laws for a birthday luncheon. The only day we actually have free right now is Friday night! Ugh!

Friday's Feast

Appetizer
How many pillows and blankets do you sleep with?
1 Pillow, but L-O-T-S of warm Blankets (Sheet, Cashmere Blanket, Down Comforter, Furry Blanket. So yea I stay warm with all that plus my hubby and warm cuddly chocolate dog

Soup
What are you currently "addicted" to?
Food*Network, Grey's Anatomy, Survivor, myspace, green tea, bananas

Salad
If you could make a small change to your current routine or schedule that would make you just a little bit happier, what would it be?
Motivation to get up in the mornings to go to the gym and/or ability to stay up a little later w/out feeling terrible the next day.

Main Course
Which adjective do you find yourself using often?
Hmmm....Stupid?

Dessert
Have you ever picked up a hitchhiker?
Hell no, but I did try to hitchhike with my cousin in her front yard once. It was on along a busy highway and my aunt nearly killed us when she caught us. I was young and yes, everyone was home...Boredom...

The Consultation

Yesterday we had our consultation for the study we volunteered for. I'm not going in to a lot of details right now, but I can say this.

1) We are still on the waiting list (boo!) We have potentially moved up a few slots though.

2) We have a few tests to do before even getting off the waiting list. Mostly just basic tests that you must meet to even be included in the study.

3) I have my yearly scheduled for today so I can knock out one test right off the bat.

4) They liked the fact that I was on the younger side. (Score one for me!)

5) I am writing the whole story elsewhere at the moment until I feel comfortable sharing. So hopefully in the near future I will be able to share that with you.

Overall we both felt GREAT after leaving the appointment. We are still not "IN", but after talking with them we feel much better about our chances. Stay tuned for more information. :D

Weekend... Complete w/ Pics!!

Our weekend was lazy again.

Friday we grabbed dinner out and then came home and vegged on the couch. Eric had a promotion and left around 9:30. I watched 3 episodes of Grey's*Anatomy (Season 1) and went to bed about 11:30.

Saturday we got up and I finished the last 3 episodes of Grey's. Then we got ready and took Godiva to the dog park. Before she got out of the car she was growling and had a mohawk down her back. Of course after she got out of the car she was complete baby and scared. We registered her and headed to play. When she first got inside she sorta froze anytime a dog would come up and smell her. Finally she got the hang of it and ran to her heart's content. She had a blast chasing other dogs. At one point we stopped to get a drink of water and for some reason she started rubbing her snout in the dirt. It was funny.






After we got home from the dog park we got cleaned up and headed to dinner at BW3*s. It was good as usual. We stopped to get some groceries and then headed home. I watched some TV and fell asleep on the couch.

Today I got up, had breakfast and read the newspaper. Then I got to cooking. See I've been quite addicted to the Food*Network the last few weekends and found some recipes I wanted to try. First I started with a turkey. A whole turkey mind you, for 2 people. :D It's called Garlic Citrus Turkey and it was wonderful. I stuffed it with a lemon, orange and garlic. Then basted it with this lemon juice, orange juice, garlic, fresh oregano mixture. See...


I also tried a recipe for penne w/ spinach sauce. It calls for reduced fat cream cheese, goat cheese (although I used feta), garlic (I forgot mine) and fresh baby spinach leaves.

I desperately needed a real food processor as the handy LITTLE one wasn't so handy so I didn't get it as mixed up as it should have been. However it turned out quite yummy. I even made Eric try the pasta even though he doesn't like spinach.

Eric told his mom he now has his own "Food*Network Chef", so I guess I have to live up to that. I'm digging the cooking though. I just need to get a bigger food processor and a real basting brush. I'm relaxing this evening and plan to watch Cold*Case and tape Grey's. Tomorrow we are hitting the gym in the morning, then work. Blah. Tuesday is the big day for the consultation about the study we are on the waiting list for that I mentioned a few days ago.

Hope everyone else had a good weekend, too!

Friday's Feast

Appetizer
Choose one: moving to another state, having triplets, or never being able to eat chocolate again.
*Having triplets, of course, because well... I'm an infertile... Why else? I could however be swayed to move to another state though, but only if the mandate fertility coverage. hee hee

Soup
Name a news story that truly shocked you.
*So much of the news is shocking these days. I'd have to say any story where a child is hurt being an adult. I just can't imagine how a person could harm a child.

Salad
What was your very first job?
*My first job was of course babysitting, my first paying/"real" job was a "Sandwich Artist" at Subway.

Main Course
If you had the chance to read the diary of someone you're really close to, would you? Why or why not?
*No, b/c if we were really close I would already know nearly everything that was in the diary. Even if I had a chance to read anyone's I wouldn't, although I'll admit it would be temping, but wrong.

Dessert
What's something you're looking forward to?
*Right now I would say I'm really looking forward to Danialle moving back to my area. We have big plans between the two of us and I can't wait to start on them.
*In the near future, I'm looking forward to having kids. One way or another we will have kids.
*In the far future, I'm looking forward to celebrating double digit anniversaries with my husband!

Feel free to borrow this and leave me a comment, so I can check yours out, too!

Courtesy of Friday's Feast

Calling all Designers...

I'm thinking of changing my blog up a little. Here's the problem... I have no idea what I"m doing & I can't afford to pay someone to do it for me... I know how to change color and that's about it. I was wondering if anyone of you out there have a few minutes to give me some pointers on how to design a new blog (even just a new header) or would be willing to design a new one for me. I hope someone can assist me in one form or another. I'm not even sure exactly what I want, something creative & catchy, but sleek & smooth. Anyway, if you'd be interested, leave me a comment and/or e-mail me. Thanks a bunch!

Oh and even if you have an idea on what you'd like to see on my blog or what "sounds like me", let me know that, too. I need all the help I can get. :D

I'm not even sure what my options are with blogger, I'd love to switch to typepad, but as I said I have a money issue, too...

B-I-G NEWS!!!

I haven't updated about our TTC adventures recently b/c we haven't really been trying very hard. We've decided to take a break and see what happens. In fact we also decided not to do any sort of treatments until 2008. We have some big things we want to do in the meantime and we don't feel like going into debt over fertility treatments is as close to the top as it was anymore. Don't get me wrong, we are definitely still trying, but just not every day around "the window", temping, anything. Just simply making love when the mood strikes us. Yes we still sorta "know" approximately when that said "window" is, b/c it's hard to re-train your brain not to know, but really just trying not to dwell on it.

So....on with the big news right? NO, I'm not pregnant...

I came across an article about a new fertility procedure they are trying in relation to IVF. A doctor near us is doing it and now they are doing clinical trials. You can guess where this is leading right? Eric called (b/c I was at work) to find out what the criteria is or how we could participate in the study. They gave him a link to go to and said if we met all the criteria then there was a number to call. I meet everything except the Day 3 testing. (and we just realized it's been over a year since his analysis). Ah, what the heck, I called anyway to see if that would totally rule me out. This was yesterday morning. I got voicemail, it figures....

Yesterday afternoon they call me back. She told me they are taking 15 patients for the study, plus a waiting list of 10. She would add me on the waiting list as #7. A long shot, yes, but not too long. We go next Tuesday to have a consulation with them. This would be free, however if they choose us to participate in the study then they will actually charge us for the consulation. Fair enough. They'll go over the criteria, the procedure, all kinds of stuff. Then I'll just have to sit and wait to see if my "Lucky Number 7" gets picked. Oh and I asked about the Day 3 testing and admitted that I had not met that criteria and she said it was not a big deal at all. They'd just require me to do it if they picked me and go from there. I assume this is true for the male analysis, too.

Even though our chances are slim I was super excited after I got off the phone yesterday. So much that I was actually shaking a little. Please, please, please let #7 be our lucky number!!!

Oh and after I know a little more about it (or when we are picked) I'll fill you in on what the actual study is... Doesn't feel right sharing it just yet. In fact, I know a few of your are local readers, so if you know the study I'm talking about (or figure it out for the non-locals) DO NOT comment about it here. Please feel free to e-mail me though. Big thanks! :D

Help Me Dear, Dear Readers

We need your help. Unfortunately we had to cancel our trip to Seattle this June b/c of cost. We weren't able to get the timeshare like we thought and between hotel, flights, car, etc. it was just going to be way out of our budget to go. Sooo.... when my in-laws were over last weekend they told us about these 3 day, 2 night trips they had and they said we could use. We thought we'd pick something w/in driving distance and plan to go sometime this fall. Unfortunately we don't have lot of choices, but we've narrowed it down to 2. Actually there are really only 3 w/in driving distance. :D

Gatlinburg, TN or Branson, MO

I wasn't thrilled with the idea of Branson at first, but after doing some research, here's what I've come up with on "Things to do...

Gatlinburg, TN
*Smokey Mountains (obviously)
*Museums (Ripley's, Guinness Book of Records, etc.)
*Cade's Cove
*Sky Lift
*Winery

Branson, MO
*Ozarks (plane, helicopter, boat)
*Outlet Mall
*Silver Dollar City
*Winery
*Inspiration Tower
*Museums (Ripleys, etc)
*Caverns & Caves

I wasn't as into Branson at first b/c we just aren't into the "shows" they offer, but after checking out other things it might not be such a bad deal.

So, I need your help! If you've been there (to either) tell me what you love and hate, recommend and don't recommend, must sees and skips! You get the idea. I have been to Gaitlinburg when I was young and I know it would be fun. My family has been to Branson, but they go for the "shows", so I'm not as inclined to ask them about things to do/see. Although I will after we've done all our research and you've told me all you know!

Thanks so much for your help if you can offer it. It's greatly appreciated!

Weekend

Overall we had a pretty borning weekend, which was perfectly fine with us since it was the first one this year we haven't had something scheduled. Friday night we grabbed dinner out and then headed home. Saturday Eric let me sleep in and I didn't get up until almost 10! I never sleep this late, but it was nice. I had breakfast, then I went to work steam cleaning our bedroom and the office. The carpets definitely look better, but I wasn't as pleased with the office. We spent the rest of the day being lazy. Since I cleaned the office, Eric was forced to sit on the couch with me and we did enjoy each other. We watched some movies and were just plain lazy. Yesterday we got up early and headed out to breakfast at i*Hop. It was quite yummy. After breakfast we wondered around Sam*s, then headed to Pet*Smart to get Godiva a harness to try to break her from walking me instead of the other way around. Plus we had a $5 off coupon, so bonus! After that we picked up some pictures I had printed and then headed to the grocery store. After we got home I spent the rest of the day on the couch. Breakfast didn't sit well or something, but my stomach was in knots. I was fine laying down, but as soon as I'd get up it started getting upset again. I didn't mind too much except I would have liked to do a couple things. Yesterday evening I started going through a bunch of stuff I've collected to scrapbook. I actually put all of the stuff in Eric & my scrapbook and made a list of some pics I need to print to finish it. It goes from 2001-2005. I'm going to start a new one for 2006-whenever it gets full. It was fun putting all that stuff in. I also went through all of our GWO stuff and boy am I behind in it!!! I need to start w/ GWO 8 - Oct 2004. I organized each one though and put all the stuff in differnt envelopes, so all I need to do now is print out the recaps and pics and then put it all in my scrapbook. It was actually really fun. My next project after those is to work on a scrapbook for my brother. I have a lot of the pics printed, but I want to get caught up on the other stuff first, just for myself. Before I went to bed last night Eric gave me a nice back massage with oil. It really was a nice weekend even if we didn't have anything planned.

Friday Feast

Courtesy of...Friday Feast... Thought this looked fun...

Appetizer
If you were a color, which color would you be, and why?
Medium Blue, I don't really have a reason, it's just my favorite color.

Soup
When was the last time you went to the doctor, and what was your reason for going?
Podiatrist, last week b/c of my foot problem, now know as sesamoiditis. It's something dancers and runners get... I am NOT a dancer or runner. It figures.

Salad
What do you collect?
I collect a few odds and ends, but nothing extreme. I like imperial glass in the blue/purple carnival glass color. I also collect wooden safari type things like masks, animals, boxes, etc.

Main Course
What were you like in high school? Name one thing you miss and one thing you don't miss about those days. (If you're still there, imagine how you'll remember it in the future.)
I was shy in high school. I never really felt like I "belonged" in any group although I never really let on. I realize now that was just fine. Miss about HS - I suppose the lack of responsbility and the free spirit of doing things like playing softball, going to football games, hanging out with friends, etc. Do NOT miss - the stupid cliches and that stupid idiot of a guy I called my boyfriend and wasted 4 years with. Of course I learned exactly what I did NOT want in a relationship from him. hee hee

Dessert
Pretend you're standing in front of your home, with your back towards your home. Describe the view - what can you see? Trees? Cars? A zoo? Wal-Mart?
I see houses b/c we live in a cul-de-sac. I also see the top part of a child as she swings just above the the top of their privacy fence. I see a part of a trail that runs through our neighborhood. There are a few trees, but they are young trees. The only "big" tree is the weeping willow, which is gorgeous until it starts losing all those leaves and they blow all over the neighborhood.

Surprise!

I got an extra special surprise last night for Valentine's. Eric got me 2 massage gift certificates at the local spa. I'm so excited to call and make an appointment for them! It was a very pleasant surprise.

Oh and for dinner last night we went to our favorite Japanese restaurant Mt*Fuji. I had thought to myself that we should go there, but didn't say anything. Thankfully he read my mind (or was thinking the same thing). It was very yummy as usual and we beat the crowd b/c I think when we left there was only maybe one table empty.

Happy Valentine's Day

I don't get to hung up on valentine's day, but wanted to wish you all a happy one anyway. Eric got me a huge red pot to replant my tree in this weekend, which was my gift for Valentine's day. I repotted it last night. We exchanged cute cards this morning and will go out to dinner tonight, but I'm not sure where. I told him to surprise me. I also bought some sexy lingerie for me to wear tonight for his Valentine's day present, which is perfectly fine with him. (ha ha) He was with me, so essentially he helped pick it out.

What are you doing for Valentine's day?

Weekend

Our weekend was quite full and hectic. Friday I got off work early and my in-laws got into town about 4 pm. We chatted a bit then hit the road to head downtown for the Pacer*s game. We got downtown without too much traffic and headed for dinner first. We went to Hard*Rock, but the music was extremely loud, so we left and went to Spaghetti*Factory. It was quite yummy. I actually tried some spinach ravioli w/ marinara and they were good. Plus I had some spaghetti marinara. After dinner Eric was supposed to meet his boss and C wasn't there yet, so we went over to the mall for a little while to waste some time. C called to say he was about 20 minutes out, so we headed towards the game. Eric & his dad stopped at the meeting point and Eric's mom & I headed on in to the game. We chatted for a while and eventually the guys came. We watched the game, but ended up leaving after the 3rd quarter b/c it was rather boring. After we got home we all pretty much went to bed.

Saturday we got up and got ready. We headed for a late morning breakfast. Unfortunately we couldn't eat at the place we hoped and breakfast wasn't all that great. Then we ran around town. We went to Sam*s, Target, HH*Gregg, Best*Buy, and the mall. On our way home we stopped to get some chocolates and some Birthday Cake Custard for Eric's mom. We were all pretty exhausted when we got home for the day of shopping. Eric's parent's left shortly after and Eric & I got ready for our evening. They opened a few BW3*s and we were invited to the VIP party. It was packed, but we managed to grab some food and talk to some people. Then we headed home.

Sunday we had a little bit of a lazy morning. We left and got groceries and a few other things late morning. After we got back I started cleaning the living room carpet and it looks much better! It probably took longer to clean it than it should, but it was my first time. I'm so glad to have a steam cleaner now. It got some stains out and I just feel like the carpet it fluffier now or something. I spent the rest of the evening on the couch. We watched the movie Doom and then headed to bed.

Friday Five

1. What did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be a vet.

2. Did you follow through? If not, what happened?
No, I just decided that was not my path of life. I was so ready to get out of HS that I sat out for a bit. Then when I did go back to school I had to pay for it myself and thought the only way to go was a business school. By then it didn't even cross my mind to go to vet school.

3. Is your life turning out the way you thought it would when you were a kid? If not, is it better or worse?
In a lot of ways it's not how I thought, but in a lot of ways it is how I planned it. I knew I'd marry a wonderful man although I never planned on going through a few bad relationships to get there. My career isn't where I thought I'd be, but then again I'm sorta content with not having an extremely demanding career. I'm sorta mediocre in that area. I definitely thought I'd have kids and maybe even by done having kids by now. Turns out that was way off. I always knew I'd be ok financially and would live in a decent house that we owned. I lived in a trailer for a bit growing up and vowed to never go down that route again.

4. Paradoxes aside, if you could time-travel back to when you were 10 years old, what would you tell your 10-year-old self?
Definitely not to care what others think. I was so self conscious of myself and I was so shy and introverted. I never thought I was "good enough" for anything. Looking back I was a great kid. I'd tell myself it is absolutely what's on the inside that counts, not what you are wearing or how pretty you are. I'd also tell myself to be closer to my brother...

5. Do you think the child you were, would like the adult you've become?
Overall I think that yes, I, as a child, would be quite thrilled with how I've turned out as an adult. I hope to continue to do well in life and all things.

Soft Water, In-laws, Steam Cleaning, Pinkness (aka Ramblings)

Last Friday some guys came and installed our new "water treatment system". Finally after 2 1/2 years we have soft water in our house. Our toilets are clean enough to.... let the dogs drink from. Hee hee I spent a little while Saturday night cleaning my bathtub, which to my dismay was much easier to clean than before. It's all probably just in my head though. Plus we cleaned the sinks out and Eric cleaned the toilets. Well, I helped by putting "the*works" in, so he didn't have much of a choice. I'm crazy, but I am really enjoying my new system. The reverse osmosis thing I'm not so sure about yet. It seems good, but it's going to be a few more days before I can give an adequate evaluation.

Tomorrow my in-laws are coming to town. Unfortunately they are forcasting snow and crap weather. It's going to be a little slow going. Anyway, I'm getting off work at 3 and soon after we are heading downtown for dinner and the Pacer*s game. Should be a lot of fun!

Oh and apparently my MIL heard me talking about a carpet cleaner over Christmas (I don't remember talking about it though). Anyway, a few weeks ago she called to say she found a great deal on one and bought it for us for our anniversary (in April). I am tickled pink! I have wanted one for several years, but we just didn't want to spend the money. (Weird, I know) Now I'm finally getting one and will spend the rest of the weekend steam cleaning my floors. (Assuming she brings it this weekend of course!) I hope to see some nice results. Our carpet isn't that bad, but we have light tan carpet and I'm sure they are dirtier than they look. Especially with 3 dogs!

I accidentally found out what I might be getting for V-day next week, too. Eric is trying to work out a deal now, but he hopes to have this cute little device in my hand soon, if all works out and hopefully for a very minimal amount.

A to Z - Meme

A - Accent: Hoosier Hick

B - Breakfast Item: Sausage Biscuits and Gravy

C - Chore you hate: Washing Dishes by Hand!

D - Dad's Name: Brad

E - Essential everyday item: Wedding Ring

F - Flavour ice cream: Chocolate of course!

G - Gold or Silver?: Gold

H - Happy Place: On the couch w/ Eric & Godiva

I - Insomnia: Yea, it sucks!

J - Job-Love or Want to Leave: Like what I do, don't like co-workers so much

K - Kids: Want some soon!

L - Living arrangements: Hubby, 3 Dogs, Fish

M - Mom's birthplace: C'ville

N - Number of lovers you've had: A woman never tells...

O - Overnight hospital stays: When I had pneumonia in 5th grade

P - Phobia: Suffering when I die

Q - Question: Do I have to have one?

R - Religious Affiliation: Agnostic

S - Siblings: All younger - 1 Brother (22)(passed away), 2 Sisters (19 & 17), 1 Step-Sister (23)

T - Time you wake up: 5:51 regularly or 5:01 if we go to the gym before work

U - Unnatural hair colors you've had: Probably this one time my cousin Jamie & I tried to dye my hair purple with koolaid although it didn't work very well. Maybe b/c we used the kind w/ the sugar already added... Who knows!?

V - Vegetable you refuse to eat: Peas! Yuck!

W - Worst habit: Not sure, you should ask my husband. :D

X - X-rays you've had: Ovaries, Teeth, Nose, Finger, Foot, Chest, Arm

Y - Yummy: Mexican Food!

Z - Zodiac sign: Pisces

Now it's your turn to have some A to Z fun. :D

Weekend Recap

My weekend was not great. Friday I found out my gramps was in the hospital. He had an infection around his heart and was in lot of pain. They took him by ambulance to a bigger hospital late Friday evening. After work we went to our local hospital to see Baby Harper and let J & K know about gramps. My cousins, D & C, came down and got to our house about 9 pm and we headed to the hospital. We visited with my gramps and even practiced what he would say when he gets a job at Home*Depot. He currently works in the shittiest factory around and it's seriously killing him. I think he realizes now that he needs to retire. We left the hospital around 1 am. Obviously we went straight to bed when we got home.

Around 9 am Saturday morning we got a call that gramps had had a minor heart attack and they were going to take him in to surgery later that day for do a heart catheterization. We headed to the local hospital so D & C could see Baby Harper, then headed to C'ville to visit my brother's grave since it was his birthday. We took a balloon and some roses there. It's so hard to believe he's gone. I miss him so much. An ironic thing happened though. When we were at Kroger getting the flowers and balloon, Eric stopped in the restroom. He came out with this weird look on his face and told us that above the urinal someone had written, "Krystal M--ion Slut" Her whole name was all wrote out though. This was my brother's estranged wife. Weird, huh? Anyway, I made Eric take pics, but it was on a metal plate and you couldn't make it out in the picture. Just freaked us all out. After visiting Matt's grave we headed back to our house. D & C left and headed to the hospital to see gramps. I took a long nap. When I woke up I decided to clean our bathtub and bathrooms. It had to be done and I knew I wouldn't have time on Sunday. They looks great now though. D called and said gramps was doing great since his surgery. He had 95% blockage, but they used the balloon and cleared the blockage. He was eating and using the restroom and the works. I felt so much better.

Sunday we got up early and headed to Indy to visit my gramps. He was doing great! We spent a couple of hours with him and then headed back home. We got groceries and spent the evening watching the Superbowl. I did go to bed around 9:45 as I was just exhausted from the weekend.

Today I go to the foot doc to find out about my sore foot. Hopefully it's something minor that can be fixed with either a prescription or some kind of foot pad. We'll see shortly though!

Happy Birthday Matt

Today, February 4, is my brother's birthday. I miss him so much! My life has changed so much since he passed away. It's just not fair that he's gone. I know he's in a better place and I know he's always with me where ever I go, but I want to be able to call him on the phone or see he loving face. I want to hear him say his famous words, "I know". I'm selfish, but it's ok. It's so hard to believe that he's been gone a little over 6 months now.

Happy Birthday Matt! I love & miss you so much!


This is a picture of he & I at Christmas 2004.

P.S.

Check this out courtesy of Kitten! You have to know my brother, but he was notorious for this. It made my day seeing that this morning! Thank you so much Kitten!

Bad News

Just found out my gramps is in the hospital again. He was in a lot of pain so they went to the hospital. He apparently has a staph infection (he had surgery a few weeks ago) and now it is affecting his heart. Apparently he got an ekg and it was quite low so they are taking him to a bigger, better hospital. We are going down tonight it looks like. This really sucks!

Baby Harper

My cousins Joe & Krystal welcomed their new baby boy today, February 2, 2006 at 4:50 am. He weighed 7 pounds, 13 ounces and was 19 1/2 inches long. Here are some pics for your viewing pleasure. Sadly I didn't get any of Krystal, but my sister did so hopefully she sends it my way today.







There are a couple more over in my flickr album, too.

$$ Cha-Ching $$

Finished up our taxes this morning. Already got an e-mail saying we will get the moolah transferred to our account on 2/10. Unfortunately it's already spent, but for good things. Not wasteful. ha ha ha

We have to do state this weekend. When I tried to do it on-line it said we owed and that just can't be the case. Of course we had to do state on paper last year for the same reason and yes we got a refundola.

Weekend Recap

Our weekend was L-A-Z-Y, simply put. But in a nice sorta way. Friday night we went to the gym after work. We did a good upper body workout and I even got 15 minutes in on the bike. After working out we grabbed dinner and headed home. When we got home I vaccuumed the house and watched a little TV.

Saturday I was awakened by the onset of those lovely cramps. (So there's your answer about this month's TTC, it didn't happen.) Anyway I took some ibuprofren and went back to bed. I didn't sleep well though and finally got up and moved to the couch. I spent most of Saturday in that same spot alternating ends though. :D

Yesterday I woke up and the ball of my left foot was quite sore. I didn't remember doing anything to it and wasn't sure what happened. I got up and made sausage gravy and biscuits for breakfast. YUMMY! After scanning the paper and took a shower and we headed to the gym, despite my sore foot. I realized real quick that I was limited with my sore foot. I did most of lower, but did skip the hip sled. I did 15 walking lunges before giving in to some pain. Finally I did about 20 minutes on the bike while Eric finished up his workout. I realize now that I did too much. Eric massaged it several times throughout the day, but it was still hurting. We spent the rest of the day being lazy. I did make a chicken & rice casserole for my lunch this week, but that was about it. Oh and Eric made us french fries and tator tots for dinner last night.

This morning we got up at 5 am and headed to the gym. I knew before we got there that my foot was worse, but I wanted to suck it up and keep up with my workout. I decided 15 minutes in that I could do no more than 20 minutes and even that was pushing it. I was nearly in tears and that 20 minutes couldn't come fast enough. When I got to work this morning I called a podiatrist, but unfortunately they can't get me in until next Monday. I don't know what I'm going to do in the meantime. I guess stay off of it as much as possible. This sucks!

School

It just occurred to me this week that I have completely let you in the dark about my returning to school. OK, so the plan was to go back to school for radiology. At first I was thinking full blown radiologist, but after some research decided rad. tech. was better. I had tried e-mailing 2 advisors and didn't get a respone, so I decided to just go ahead and pay my $30 app fee and apply to school. Plus it was getting close to Jan and I wanted to start this Spring. About a week later I finally got an e-mail back and set up an appointment to meet with an advisor. In a nutshell their website is S-T-U-P-I-D and they do not offer a degree in rad. tech. Apparently a lot of people think they do. My response, "Well, I work for a department on campus and this would stike me as something that needs to be fixed." Apparently they like the confusion, b/c its still misleading. One option I did have was to be a med tech, but my MIL inlaw did that for several years and after talking to her I realized that was not what I wanted to do either. So I basically wasted $30 b/c people like to mislead you on their website and/or not meet with you until AFTER you have applied and wasted your money.

So now where am I?

Well, I love being outside. I love doing all things outside. A few years ago I even thought about opening my own landscaping business. I've even thought about opening a greenhouse. So I've decided to join this Master*Garden program. It is going to allow me to increase my knowledge in several different horitculture areas. I would attend a series of classes weekly last 3-4 hours. After completing those classes and getting a 70% I would become an intern. While an intern I would be doing some voluneer work. Eventually I would become certified and would be able to educate others in the program. The bad thing is the guy I've been in contact with (or not) doesn't respond to e-mails very well. I finally got a short reply after 3 weeks telling me he'd send me information and that he'd add my name on the waiting list. I have no idea when this will start, where I'm at on the waiting list, anything. It's really frustrating. Eric asked me if it was worth it and to me it is.

Another idea if I don't get in this spring would be to talk to a greenhouse near our house. I could see if they would be willing to hire me for a couple days a week. If all else fails I could ask them if I could volunteer (although I'd like to get a little $$) so I can start gaining some knowledge.

So that's about all I know right now. I'm just hanging out on the waiting list for the time being...

Therapy...

First thing I did Monday when I went in for my therapy appointment was schedule my next appointment for 1 month out. Big Mistake!

We had a really good conversation at first just catching up on things like Ashlee, Christmas on my mom's side, GWO. Then we got to talking about Eric & I and I asked her about marriage counseling. We have a few issues, but nothing to get divorced over. After we got into that deep she determined the source of a lot of problems. She said that I am suffering from post traumatic anxiety of Matt's death now. I've been having dreams, snapshots, flashbacks, whatever and they give me a horrible feeling that something bad is going to happen. I even get anxious riding in a car for long distances. (Longer than just to work or around town). It's horrible and its making me crazy. I've realized I'm quite numb to my feelings about anything these days and realizing that makes me even worse off. She told me to talk to Eric about it and I did. I feel a little better, but I just can't get over this hump. I know it's going to take a while, too. I'm also going to buy a photo album or scrapbook and go through all the stuff I have of Matt and put that together. She suggested I do it with Eric and talk about it while I'm doing it.

I told her about the DVD I'm making for the family of video of Matt & a picture slideshow and how I spent 5 hours scanning all the pictures and she thinks that may have been what triggered all this. (I just scanned them a few weeks ago) So I went on to talk about the movie editing and stuff and she was glad that we had given it to Danialle to finish. (BIG Thanks D!)

We concluded that this was also affecting my sleep, too. My mind races and I worry about everything when I'm finally able to have some quiet time each day and it causes me to have trouble going to sleep and staying asleep b/c every time I wake up I'm back to racing.

She thinks that for the last 6 months I've been occupied with my family and how they are handling Matt's death and haven't actually grieved myself even though I thought I had. I realize now that she is right. Now that everyone else is doing better it's like my body can let down this guard and allow me to finally grieve.

Some things to work on per my therapist include going through my "Matt stuff" and getting it ready for a scrapbook or album. Actually going to the gym like we'd planned instead of just planning it. I've been M, T, W already this week! I'm actually even getting up at 5 am and going to do cardio every morning. Then 2 evenings during the week and 1 day on the weekend we are doing weights.

So I got to call the office back and reschedule my 4 week appointment to NEXT WEEK. If I'm not any better I have to see Dr. Banana again (I saw him a few years ago) and possibly get back on some type of med. Even if it's just something to help me sleep at night. I don't want to go back on the meds, so I'm really trying really hard not to. I realize that it will be just one week since all this realization, so hopefully I'm heading uphill now.

I know I'm not to the point I was at a few years ago, but I know that I'm not doing great either.

Trivia Tips about Erica

I got this from Jemmers

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Erica!

1. Medieval knights put the skin of Erica on their sword handles to improve the grip.
2. Erica can live for up to a week without a head.
3. Over 46,000 pieces of Erica float on every square mile of ocean.
4. Research indicates that Erica will be attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.
5. When provoked, Erica will swivel the tip of her abdomen and shoot a jet of boiling chemicals at her attacker!
6. Birds do not sleep in Erica, though they may rest in her from time to time!
7. Erica is the sacred animal of Thailand.
8. Grapes explode if you put them inside Erica!
9. India tested its first nuclear Erica in 1974.
10. The pigment Indian Yellow was manufactured from the urine of cows fed only on Erica.

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

Weekend - Christmas 05-06

Friday I decided to stay home from work. My gramps was getting surgery in the afternoon and Eric had a meeting all day long, so I took the opportunity to stay home. I tried sleeping in, but the doggies had other ideas, so I spent the morning on the couch. Around 11 am, I decided to work on a few items on my "To Do" list I've been wanting to get done. I got a load of laundry done and then tackled the refrigetator. It needed cleaning, so I spent a few hours taking out shelves and cleaning them, plus throwing out some stuff. The only thing I didn't get done was the shelves on the door, but that's my goal for next weekend. Anyway during the afternoon I took a short nap and watched a few shows then got ready.

When Eric got home he did a few things then we headed to a local mexican restaurant and met up with some family members for some eatin'. Unfortunately several people didn't show up, mostly b/c of my gramps surgery. That was ok though we still had a good time. We invited everyone over to our house after dinner and the cousins from Chicago got in about the time we got back to our house. We did have a little interesting thing happen... The 3 guy cousins went to the LQ to get a few things and some mixers and ended up getting pulled over "because they looked to young to be in the LQ". Thankfully the one cousin driving only got off with a ticket that we are pretty sure he can get out of. The older relatives left and the 8 of us younger group hung out and chatted til about midnight.

Saturday morning we got up and got ready, then headed to C'ville for Christmas. Yes we have Christmas in January. I think everyone was there at one time or another and we had a blast opening presents, eating from the billions of options my grams had available and just enjoying each other's company. You can see pictures here.

Sunday we had a pretty lazy day. When I got up (I slept in a bit), we went out for breakfast and wandered around Target. After that we headed home and I didn't do too much of anything that couldn't be done from the comfort of the couch. We watched a movie last night and I went to bed around 9:30.

At least is wasn't a stressful weekend.

Gramps & Stones

I found out that my gramps is going in for surgery this afternoon to remove a kidney stone. Apparently he woke up yesterday morning at 3 am and told my grams he was hurting and needed to go to the hospital. My gramps is not a complainer so grams knew he was serious. This totally sucks b/c this weekend is when our family is having our christmas. The good news is that they told them is was out patient surgery so apparently if he does well in recovery and soon after he may get to go home tonight or early tomorrow. I sure hope he is there to share christmas with us. It just won't be the same without him. I love my gramps!

Happy Birthday Dad!

50 Years ago today my dad entered the world! And what a wonderful man he is today. I'm so lucky to have him as a dad!

I'm back

I've not been off to a good start for 2006. I had a breakdown on Jan 2 and I even scared myself. Starting on the 3rd all hell broke loose with my sister who had been staying with us. To make a long story short and not give many details here as I think it's inappropriate, we are talking a bit, but she basically hates my husband. Of course she won't talk to him about it either and yes he is willing. That made for a really rough week. On the 7th I attended my cousin's baby shower and had a lot of fun. I was really tense about going, but it turned out to be fun.

Last week I was crazy busy at work. It was a nightmare. I don't know why all these kids wait until the last possible minute to register for classes and then make me feel like it's my fault. I have a backbone though and they don't get very far with it.

Friday I headed to OH for a Girls' Weekend. It turned out that my friend Jennifer's daughter was still in the hospital recovering from her surgery, pneumonia, and bacterial infection so we spent the weekend hanging out at the hospital. It was still fun though. We played with Grace constantly and got some intense girl time in with only a few minor interruptions from the nurses. (Including one "murse" who we believe was a man even though s/he looked completely like a woman...Scarey...) Despite being at the hospital we did "escape" a few times and still had a great time and I know Jennifer (& Grace) both enjoyed the company.

Jennifer's husband let us steal her away for 2 nights. On Friday night Danialle's plane kept getting delayed and we ended up picking her up at 1 am Saturday morning. It made for a short night's sleep. Saturday night we hit up Olive*Garden for a 4 course meal. YUMMY!

Monday I got up early and hit the road home. Danialle made a quick visit to the hospital before departing for the airport herself.

When I got home I showered and did some laundry. I was too exhausted to cook dinner and Eric made arrangements to eat out so we had dinner and I got a very nice massage (among other things) before falling asleep shortly after 8 pm.

Today I've been cleaning up the tornado that hit my desk while I was out Friday. I swear these people are incompetent. Ugh! I think I'm caught up now. I'm sure I'll have to put out some forest fires this afternoon, but I guess its ok.

This week is going to be mad crazy. Tonight we are going to a closing party for one of Eric's accounts. Wednesday we actually get to spend the evening at home. I hope we just get a movie and eat something easy. Thursday we are heading to C'ville for my dad's birthday. Friday we have dinner out with the crazy side of my family (hee hee). Saturday is Christmas with the aforementioned family. Sunday I think I'll spend the day in bed and recooperate. Although we have a busy week it should be a lot of fun.

Hopefully I'm back to regular posting. I did put up some pics in the Flickr album of my cousin's baby shower. I hope to put up some pics of the little Grace munchkin (from this weekend) this week sometime. I have a billion other things going on, so forgive me if I don't get to it til this weekend. :D

Missed you all & I have been trying to keep up with your blogs.

MIA

I might as well be. Sorry no updates. I'm really busy at work and a LOT has been going on with my family that I can't talk about here. Will try to update soon. Please keep me in your thoughts b/c I am so close to a breakdown...

New Year's Resolutions/Goals

Today starts a new year and hopefully a much better year than 2005. So as always I have come up with some new year's resolutions...

Health
1. Cook healthy dinners at home - 4 to 5 times weekly
2. Cook 1 new meal weekly
3. Reduce red meat to once/week, increase fish
4. Re-Initiate Diet Blog - At least weekly updates
5. 30 Minutes of Exercise 5 to 6 times weekly
6. Join 1 Class at the Gym
7. Allow 1 Lunch (Thurs) and 1 Dinner out during week, 1 Meal out on weekend
8. Make meal plans on Sunday and stick to it
9. Doing all this should put me at my ideal weight (approx 12-15 pounds lighter)
10. Stick to it for 1 whole year - This will be a struggle, but totally feasible

Finances
1. Reduce Debt by ALOT! I have an amount set, but don't think its appropriate to list it here.
2. Save $3,000 for IUI/Injectible Cycle ($250/month)

Intellectual Development
1. Read 10 books
2. Take some fun classes around town (crafty or gardening)
3. Learn how to knit

Spirtuality
1. Yoga or Pilates or TaeBo (twice weekly) - This might be joining the Piyo class at gym

Personal Development
1. Remember cards for birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, etc. (This was a goal for 2005 - I was good except for the "minor" holiday cards, ie Easter)
2. Increase positive well being
3. Update scrapbooks and keep them updated in timely manner

June 30 - Evaluate Goals & Progress

Most of my goals are more towards my health, yes, but it's very important. I think when I get my total body in check most of the other things will just come and I can feel better about myself all around.