Sad

I'm sad b/c my brother is coming home on Wednesday night. I'm even sadder b/c he's getting married at 2:00 on Thursday. It will be in the court house, but still. He's getting married. I won't be able to go b/c as you know I will be in Florida. I made these arrangements quite a while back and their wedding was basically last minute. In fact, I just found out today that it was going to be Thursday. I'm hoping they get home early enough on Wednesday that I can see him for a little bit, but it's not likely. Thankfully they will be having an actual wedding and reception in August or thereabouts, so I'll make sure and be there for that.

Weekend

Had a great weekend! Friday night we didn't do a whole lot besides go to the gym, which is always a good thing.

Saturday morning I talked to my sister Ashlee and she was going to be at our house at around 10:30 so we could take her out for her belated birthday dinner. Apparently C'ville had had freezing rain that morning and it was snowing pretty heavily. It didn't start even snowing at our house til around 10:00. She finally got to our house around 11:15. Once she arrived we headed to pick up Jamie. It had started snowing pretty heavily by this time. We headed toward Olive Garden and had a nice lunch. We convinced Ashlee that it probably wasn't a good idea for her to drive back by herself b/c of the weather so she ended up calling in and she and Jamie spent the night. We had a little sleepover. When we got back to our house we played some Phase 10. Ashlee has a friend that goes to PU, so we picked him up and he joined us for some card playing. Eric decided to order pizza. When the pizza arrived we headed to the living room and watch Friday Night Lights. It was a good movie. After the movie we decided we better make and eat fondue. Unfortunatley the guys we not interested, so us 3 girls put away a quart of strawberries and two bananas all dipped in chocolate of course. We were still up for some games, so we all played a game of monopoly. We finally quit at midnight. Eric took Ashlee's friend home and after some late-night chatting we headed off to dream land.

Today has been productive. Ashlee and Jamie left around 9:00. I relaxed on the couch a bit then we cleaned house. We headed to the gym to make-up our skipped workout from yesterday, made a quick stop at Taco Bell and the grocery store and headed home. Once home I got all geared up and shoveled snow. Yea, I sure did. Unfortunately we had packed it down some on the driveway so it wasn't that easy to get up and I even fell on the ice once. I'm sure anyone watching had to have been laughing b/c our driveway is quite inclined and was basically a sheet of ice. I almost fell several times actually. About the time I finished shoveling my dad and Peg stopped by. They visited for a little while, checked out our new SUV and saw the doggies. We don't see them very often so it's always nice to see them. After they left I started on supper. I had started to make a turkey breast yesterday, but Eric wanted pizza, so I just finished cooking it and put it in the fridgerator. I got it out and heated it up, but it was tough and didn't look right, so I ended up tossing it and just making some buffalo chicken wraps. I also made some sloppy joe mix (thanks Kitten) for my lunches this week. It doesn't look the greatest, but it definitely tastes good. I will say I had my doubts making it. This is evening is going to be pretty lazy otherwise.

Oh and I forgot to mention that the other day when Jamie was over Godiva a manicure. I think she likes Jamie. I just hope she doesn't start expecting it. Hell I don't even get professional manicures!

Dr. um... Downer

So I realized after making my appointment w/ the new doc I really wanted to see that they are not an in-network doctor w/ my insurance. DAMN, DAMN, DAMN. I thought I'd the hotline just to make sure they weren't added and was just not on my list of approved docs. Nope. So I called the doctors office and talked to them. They accept the insurance, but warned me there was much more out-of-pocket on my behalf. I unfortunately cancelled the appointment and scheduled an appointment w/ my old doctor, Dr. R. The good thing is I get to go next week. The bad thing, it's in the middle of the day and I'll get to return to work & spend the afternoon w/ goo in my undies! ha ha

On a side note: Me and the doc are going to have a serious talk about this TTC business. Hopefully he can give me some insight and we can figure out what our next steps are "up to" diagnosing infertility. That's what my insurance covers and I'm not sure what the "up to" entails. He's going to explain it to me. :D

Update on Brother

My brother has been in Airborne training now for a few weeks. I talked to him for a little bit last Saturday and he was excited. The would be jumping on Monday. Well, he jumped on Monday all right. Of the group he jumped with a girl died. Details here. He had to witness this as she jumped right before him. Can you imagine such a thing? He was pretty shook up about the whole deal, not surprisingly. Anyway, he also hurt is knee during that jump. To give you a little background, when he was younger he had a 4-Wheeler accident and had a body cast and his knee in traction. He just thought maybe he landed wrong or something, so he didn't say anything. So on Tuesday when they jumped again, he hurt it worse. They sent him to the doctor and they did x-rays. He didn't break it, but told him he couldn't jump again b/c they were afraid he'd totally trash it. So now he can't finish his Airborne training and he leaves next Wednesday and has 2 days to report to Ft. Hood, TX. He's going to come home for a day before he heads to TX and might even get married on that short visit. Yeah, he's planning on getting married to a girl he was engaged to before he left for boot camp. When he came home over Christmas they got back together and in order for her to move w/ him they have to be married. Although there is a waiting list for married housing so she can't go yet, but you have to be married to get on the list.

Reality set in a while ago when I realized how easy it would have been for him to grab that chute and it could have been him whose chute didn't open. Yikes!

New OB-GYN

So I (finally) called to make my yearly pap appointment, since I was due to have one in December. I decided to see if the office I was really interested in going to was accepting patients b/c last time I called it they said they would be accepting like 6 months down the road and I really didn't want to wait that long. Lo and behold they were! Yay! So I scheduled! The office has 2 doctors (1 female, 1 male), but I've heard great things about both, so I did first available. I got the male, Dr. Mc. My appt is Feb 22 so it's only a few weeks away, too. Now I have to make a list of my history so I can answer the billions of questions they will ask me. Oh well, hopefully I'll really like this guy and he'll give me some insight on our TTC challenges.

I feel like things are finally starting to go our way. Maybe we are getting out of the hole we were stuck in for a while. (I HOPE!)

Mirror Mirror On The Wall....

Reality is I'm not that fat at all.

I was standing in front of the mirror last night doing some upper body workouts when it dawned on me that I'm really not as fat as my mind has me thinking. Why do our minds play tricks on us like that? I'm feeling pretty good about myself right now. I feel good working out and don't feel too guilty when I eat something bad, unless I keep eating bad things. It is such a nice feeling. I feel like I'm getting back to "MY" self. I know I still have a long way to go, but I'm getting there. I know I'll have my ups and downs, but this week seems to be going GRRRRREAT!

Godiva

OK, so I lied. Eric sent me Godiva pics this morning, so no need to wait any longer!

Godiva loves getting her picture taken. Every time we get the camera out she jumps in front of you and then sits like "look at me, take a picture of me". And who could resist with a face like this?


I am finally able to get my hair in a pony tail, but apparently Godiva doesn't like it up...


Save the best for last! I think Godiva has finally realized why we got her. She really is my baby, more than she knows. She laid in my lap yesterday like a baby for quite a while. Of course she was knawing on my fingers, but that was ok. I didn't mind too much.

Snowy Weekend

On Friday after work we headed to BW3's as a manager there asked us to come in sometime and see how the bar service was. How could you turn that down? We ordered more than we could eat, I had a Bloody Mary and Eric had a few sips of a Long Island. After that we headed home.

Sometime over night it started snowing and we had a couple of inches when we got up. Nothing major, but it was blowing and drifting what we did have. Eric went to the gym and I got ready as we had to go to C'ville for Christmas on my mom's side. The roads were really drifting on our way down, but we made it fine. As usual my mom and I got into a bit of an arguement and she got mad and was short with me the rest of the day. And another commonality at these gatherings is that they are so screwed up no one knows when to show up. Needless to say, everyone else showed up when we were getting ready to leave. O'well. Thank god we are done with that for a year! We had a pretty lazy evening and as usual I fell asleep on the couch, only this time Eric fell asleep watching in bed and didn't wake me up til 1 am.

Yesterday was a relaxing day. We just kicked back, watched TV and bummed around the house all day. I did get some energy in the afternoon and ended up making some chili, jello, and cookies. We spent the evening watching football.

By request, here's a couple pics of our new car. It's been really crappy outside and the car is super dirty, so Eric graciously pulled a few pics off the web.



Also, I have some new pics of Godiva that I hope to get posted this week.

Automobiles in 2005 - The Bad, Ugly & Good

In that order. We've had a crazy last week or so w/ automobiles in our household. Last week before traveling to OH we found that the that Mercedes (Mel) needed new brakes, brake pads, rotors, and shocks. Yea we were floored to say the least as it was going to cost about $1G to get those repairs. They said I would be ok driving to OH since it was interstate driving, but not to do a lot of city driving and we could get those repairs when I got back this week. So on Monday when I got home Eric took Mel to run some errands and see some customers and noticed yet another noise. After stopping by the dealer we find out it is the catalytic convertor which was $1500 in just parts. So we decided Mel must go and fast. Eric's car, the Explorer was also leaking something, so we knew it had to go into the shop soon, too. After some deliberation, we decided we could go down to one car, save some money on our car payments and just make due to get some other bills paid off for the time being. So, off we went shopping for a new car. I get a GM discount so we wanted to get something new and we found out that since we have a substantial amount of negative equity we'd have to get something new b/c we'd never get a loan on a used car w/ that much neg. eq. We found one we liked, but the banks were all closed b/c of MLK, Jr day so we headed home.

Tuesday rolled around and the finanial guy made calls all day and as of 5:00 hadn't got anything approved yet. We were asking for a large loan to say the least. However, what the banks don't see is that we were trading both cars in so we actually reduce our payments and save some money. We were looking at a Tahoe. We thought, ok, maybe we are asking for too much money so we told them to see what they could do about finding us a trailblazer.

So yesterday our sales guy called and told us that the only way we could get the Tahoe would be to have a $20G downpayment. Are you serious? If we had that kind of downpayment, we'd just come in a buy a used car w/ cash. Good lord! We hung up the Tahoe and Dan, the sales guy, started working on finding us a trailblazer. That was more difficult than we thought. We have a few necessaties we wanted and they didn't have what we wanted on the lot, so they would have to check auctions and other dealers. We figured it would be at least a few days before we heard back...

but....

shortly after 5:00 last night Dan called to tell us they finally got us approved for the Tahoe if we could put at least a little down. Thankfully his parents had already offered to help us out a little with the downpayment so we could get out from under that $3G+ work/repairs we would have to put in both of our current cars. So needless to say off the dealer we went and drove home with a Tahoe. It is a sweet ride and there is no reason we won't be able to keep it for 10+ years. The payments were a bit more than we wanted, but it is still less than what we were paying. And we can totally make due on 1 car. We just have to make a few sacrifices. So something has went our way. We were both feeling like things were going downhill for us on the money side and it was scary. This weekend we are sitting down and looking at our finances and coming up with a STRICT budget to get some stuff paid off. I think we are on the right track now and things are looking much brighter. Yay! We just needed a little sunshine. It is stressful buying that expensive of a car, but at the same time it is a reliable car w/ a warranty, cheaper repairs if/when that time comes, and American made. No more foreign cars for us!

GWO Update

I headed to OH this weekend for another much needed Girls Weekend Out. It was great. I came in Friday evening and of course played with Grace first thing. We met Eric at Steak & Shake for dinner. We headed back home and Eric headed to the airport to pick up Danialle. Danialle arrived and of course played with Grace. She is such a precious baby. Saturday morning we got up and got ready. Heather arrived and we headed to First Watch for brunch. After that we met up with Samara and headed to Babies r' Us, Filene's Basement and the mall. Grace was wonderful the entire day. Saturday night Eric kept Grace and we "older" girls headed out to dinner at Champps. We had a blast. Samara drove since she is pregnant and the rest of us had a few (much needed) drinks. Dinner was nice although it took us a while to get a table b/c there was a football game on. Heather had us laughing so hard it hurt with her stories about drinking and dieting and make sure you wear a belt so you don't fall in the holler, etc., etc. For those readers who don't know Heather, all I can say is it's a long story. When we got home we were pretty exhausted so we all headed to bed around 11 pm. Heather got up early and headed home on Sunday, but Danialle & I stayed. We had a pretty lazy day Sunday. In the afternoon we headed to out to get fuel for Jennifer's smores maker (who knew how difficult that was?) and then to BW3s for take-out and back home to watch a repeat game of last year with the Colts & Patriots. We then finished off the night by ordering a pizza, playing some dominoes and having a few smores. Monday morning we got up way to early so Danialle could make it to the airport on time and I decided to head home at that time, too. I got home before noon. It was a nice relaxing weekend.

The Weekend

So I updated on Saturday about working long hours and overtime. Then said I was off to Eric's holiday party... Well, needless to say it was quite interesting. (To say the least)

On our way down to Indy we headed to the airport b/c we had to get my plane ticket for my trip to FL in February. We were worried at first that we wouldn't be able to get it b/c the "ticket counter" was closed, but thankfully they gave it to us.

Eric thought that cocktail hour was from 5:30-6:30 then the dinner at 6:30. So we arrived around 5:15 or so only to find out we were about the first one there. Yep, cocktail hour started at 6:30. We were starving, but managed a few drinks. About 7:30 they filed everyone in this small room and explained some rules and details as they had arranged a vegas night holiday party. Actually it was a blast! The downside was the invitation said "informal dinner". We assumed it was just a buffett and you could eat whenever. Nope. It was just finger type foods and not that great either. Oh, well, gambling made up for it I guess. There was a highlight to the night though...

We ladies were standing around a table chatting, when Eric's bosses fiance looks at me and says..... "Oh, your belly, when are you due?" I imagine the look on my face was priceless and I just said, "Uh, I'm not!" She just about melted in her shoes. I'm sure she was so embarrased. She came over and apologized and hugged me and all that. I was embarrassed, too. After that I just got a drink and headed to find Eric. Eric said I didn't look pregnant, but my shirt could look like it sometimes.... This is the sweater I had on. What do you think? Obviously I'm not that skinny, but I'm definitely not fat either! Seriously, why would you ask someone that if you weren't for sure??? IDIOT! Needless to say, I won't be wearing the shirt for a while.

Yesterday was pretty lazy. AF came first thing. We tried to go to the gym and I did most of my routine, but with cramps and a cold, we cut it a little short. I'm feeling better today. Have medicine head though with all the tylenol am/pm I'm on. That's not the best feeling, but it's better than being sick.

Long Week

Needless to say I worked lots of overtime this week. I even had to go in and work 4 hours this morning. Thankfully we are getting caught up. This next week is going to be a long busy one, too, but I have Friday off and the following Monday. I will be going to Columbus for another Girls Weekend and I can't wait. We finally get to meet Grace and of course have girl time. We've been going to the gym this week. I skipped last night because my sinuses are bothering me and draining and causing me to have a sore throat on top of that. Yuck! I'm feeling a little better about my body since going to the gym. That will take some time though. Tonight we are heading to Indy to pick up my plane ticket for my trip to Florida in February then to Eric's Company's Holiday Party. Woo hoo! Sorry I haven't posted any pics recently. I've just been to busy or too exhausted.

My brother headed back to GA for airborne training. Unfortunately he decided not to go on to ranger school, but that's his choice and I'm happy b/c he's doing so great. I won't go into a lot of detail, but I think some of his decision was based on a girl... Darn them. Anyway, he officially starts 3 weeks of training Monday then when he's done he'll go to Ft. Bragg, NC where he'll be for 3 years. Most likely he'll go to war sometime within that time.

Godiva gets better every day. She can now sit and shake. (I taught her how to shake.) She's still having some pooping problems and goes back to the vet next week for her final set of shots, so hopefully they'll figure out the other, too. She is getting so big. I'm curious to see how much she weighs now, too.

Anyway, that about sums up what's happening in our life right now. Hope everyone is having a good new year so far. We had a horrible ice storm about mid week this week and it snowed again last night. Lovely winter, what can I say?

And so it begins...

A new year, a new life, a new body, a new attitude...

2004 was a tough year for us. I had several bouts of depression for starters. I was trying to repair a relationship with my mom, which is depressing in itself. :) It has it ups and downs and I let it get the best of me sometimes. I started controlling the situation around Christmas and hope to be able to control situations as much as I can in the future. Yes, I know some things are out of my control and those things I have to not let bother me and get me down.

Another tough one as you know from reading this blog is our not getting pregnant. Where do I begin with this one??? It was even more tough when others around us were/are getting pregnant. I had one sister (15 yrs old) who was pregnant late 03, miscarry in 04. Then, Jennifer & Samara got pregnant. I'm super happy for both of them. Then I found out K is pregnant. That was really a punch to the gut. Its even tougher every time I'm around her. I've just got to accept it and move on and I'm getting there. Really, I am. We have taken a break from trying and will continue to break for a little while longer and it really has been good for us.

I am at the heaviest I've been in my entire life. That makes me sad. I know I have done nothing to help it. I can blame some of it on the depression, TTC, etc. but in reality I have to make the choice to get in shape. Thankfully my husband is finally with me on this one. We joined a gym right before Christmas and started practicing last week. Figuring out our workout routine, weights, cardio, etc. We fought at first b/c I was in the BFL mentality and Eric was out to kill himself and I thought kill me, too. :) So, we met with a trainer who got us both on the right track and routine. We really only do cardio together, but that's ok. We still motivate each other to go 6 days a week. I hope to get back down to 130-ish pounds and a size 7/8. That's my goal right now. I have a pear body shape, so I will really struggle with my workout, but so far I've done it twice and it's not too bad except for the damn lunges. YUCK! They suck! But as my trainer said, that's the best way to work your butt... Guess he would know since he's a "trainer"... I just have to suck it up and do them! Today was our first real day of working out and it was great. What else can I say?

I feel like this is going to be a great year. At least I hope. I want to have a positive attitude and things will go our way. At least they better. :) I don't expect anything to change over night. I know they won't, but at least I have the motivation now to take steps to make my life better.