Life is Frustrating

My Job. My job consists of bullshit receptionist stuff, that I am over-qualified for. I went to school for what??? Not that! I seem to be stuck in a rut though. I've tried staying at the University b/c it is a good place to work. Unfortunately there are not many administrative jobs open. And when you do see an open one, they normally already have someone in mind to fill the position, so in essence I'm screwed before I even apply. The economy sucks, so obviously there aren't many jobs open outside of the university either. I proposed a new job for myself in my current job and now I'm just basically screwing myself. I offered to be the webmaster for the school, which they really need, but instead of making that it's own position, they want to make it part of my current job (which still includes all the bullshit receptionist stuff). Now I'm not always busy during the day, but taking over the school's web is a full time job in itself. They also did offer to get me a student worker, so that might help. I guess it will depend on how much they compensate me. I imagine only $0.50 and I don't know that I want to take on that much more work for that little compensation. That equates to only about a 3% raise... I know I can do so much more, but can't seem to find my niche or something.

Trying to Get Pregnant. Well, I could probably go on for hours about this. All I really need to say is WHY THE HELL CAN'T I GET PREGNANT??? You may have noticed I don't have the little cycle ticker at the top of my page anymore, nor is there a link to my chart. Right now I've trashed them both at least for the time being. I see babies or pregnant ladies everywhere! I even heard some students talking about pregnancy this morning in the hall. It really gets me down sometimes. The doctor has said there is nothing wrong with either of us, so what the hell is the problem? I never thought it'd take longer than a year, even when it started getting close. Now we've past the one year mark and it just really pisses me off. I want to be getting fatter from a baby not just from fat. I want to be shopping for baby clothes and furniture and painting the nursery. Oh, and getting new carpet in there. This probably frustrates me the most in life right now. I've tried not to think about it the last few months, but for some reason today it's really bothering me!

I'm just venting like nobody's business.