Sunday, October 31, 2004

Sister K

I woke up yesterday (Saturday) morning to a message on my voicemail from my sister K saying to call her b/c they had something to tell us. I instantly knew...... She was pregnant. This is the sister who has competed with me her entire life. The same one who started trying to get pregnant (before she was married) only when she find out we were trying. I heard a while back that she was seeing a fertility doc and that they were supposed to do IVF in September, so essentially I had been waiting on this call.

After that message, well, I can't even explain how I felt. I was mad and sad (you saw my post Friday) and hurt and probably every emotion possible. I felt very anxious, too. So instead of calling her back I turned my cell phone off and called my cousin. She and Eric made me feel much better of course, but I still felt like shit. So, what else to do, but dyed my hair! ha

Our home phone rang early afternoon probably around 2 ish. It was her. I just let it ring. I guess I just didn't want to hear what I already knew. It hurt so damn bad. So I did a few other things, then I called her.

When she answered she asked if they could come over. This coming from the same person whose never been here and we've lived here a whole year. She only came to our old house 2-3 times. Anyway, I said yes, but we had to leave by 6:00 to go to a Halloween party. They thought they'd be here between 5-5:30. When I asked her what was going on, she said she'd just talk to us when she got here.

After I got off the phone my emotions turned more into anger. She now wants to come see our house b/c it is benefiting her in some way. We were just sure she was going to throw it in my face (remember the competition thing). We also knew that Eric would get into it with them and we'd have to end up asking them to leave. You can only imagine.

Anyway, they arrived and we showed them around the house. A comment about liquor was made and that's when the ball was dropped. She of course said she wouldn't be doing any of "that" for a while now and I said oh, you must be pregnant. Yep, I hit the nail on the head. So I asked if it was through IVF and she told me no. I guess I sorta melted down a bit then b/c I know her history and I really did think of it as sort of a miracle. Let me tell you now. She had a tumor on her ovary when she was young 13-14 maybe. They ended up having take the ovary leaving her with only one. Then when she started trying, she went to the doctor and they ended up doing an HSG and they said she probably wouldn't have kids on her own b/c her tube was partially blocked (or at least that's what she told everyone). I will say K loves kids and despite being a "small-town" mom she will probably be a good one. She thinks she's around 2 months.

Anyway, after they left we felt a little better. It still hurts us and I felt sorta numb the rest of the evening. I feel a little better today. I suppose it's more of a mixture of everything than just her news though. I am happy for them and I hope they did it for the right reasons and not just to "beat" us. Guess there's no turning back though now, huh?

Friday, October 29, 2004

Thinking....

I am not busy at work today so I've been doing a lot of reading of blogs and such and they've got me thinking. I guess it sorta hit me today that this is our 16th cycle (or 14th month) of trying to get pregnant. Wow! That has been my entire focus since last August. It's so surreal. I would never in my wildest dreams think I would be here. Not that anyone would really

- First, I have to admit that I really wanted to be pregnant when I went to my friend J's shower next week. Maybe not showing or anything, but just know that I was. Not that anyone who knows me already didn't know that, but I had to say it. Yes, technically I could be pregnant, but it will be too early to tell, so essentially I won't know. This makes me sad. I am so very happy that my friend J got pregnant again after her unfortunate miscarriage last fall, yet I am sad that I am not pregnant, too. I feel selfish saying that, but it is the truth and I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I do. Fortunately I know my friend J understands this and I hope that I'm not offending her by saying this. I will not be unsocial or distant or anything else at her shower.

-Part of me feels really guilty b/c we don't do the baby dance EVERY day during my peak time, but I don't want our relationship to revolve around it. Not that it hasn't been on the top of our priority list. I think about it constantly, who wouldn't? I imagine Eric does, too. The last few months seem to have been a little less stressful, sorta like we've been on a break or something, but I still think about it many times throughout every day. Sometimes I look back and think, "If only we'd done it on this day" or "if only I hadn't done this or that". Well reality is that it is out of my control. It's just hard for me to let go of that control.

- Sometimes I wonder if someone is trying to tell me that it's "not the right time" or that I'm (we're) not ready for a child, but then when is anyone ready? Why couldn't we be one of those people who got pg on accident and then learn to live with the result? Everyone else in my family took that path (-D). Maybe I was just so deadset on NOT getting pregnant and NOT following in my family's footsteps that now it has a spell on me.

- Deep down I don't really know what to think. I know that has been bothering me lately and is probably the root cause of my bitchiness and meanness and that makes me even sadder. I don't want to be that person, but sometimes I can't control it. I know this puts some strain on my relationship w/ Eric. I have no motivation to do much of anything. I just want to sit on the couch and watch TV, fall asleep only for him to wake me up and go to bed. Exciting life, I know! B/C of our shitty insurance we can't do those "other" treatments b/c we just can't afford that lump sum and really I sorta refuse to believe that I need that next step.

- Reading blogs makes me feel better sometimes b/c I know I'm not the only one out there who can't get pregnant. But I guess I could find that one blog that I can really relate to. Someone just like me that has taken some of those "after a year" test and there is NOTHING wrong, but just can't get pregnant. So, if you find a blog like that out there, please send me the link. The blogs I've been reading have already taken the next step of IUIs or IVFs and frankly I just don't think I'm there yet. I still have hope, small as it is, it's there.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Yes

I know it's not Friday, yet, but why not?

Friday Five - Clothing

1) Of everything in your wardrobe what do you feel the most comfortable wearing? Why?
I really like my sweaters (especially my new ones). Mostly because they are big and soft and comfy and I'm not concerned if I look fat in them or not.

2) How would you describe your style?
When we go shopping my friends refer to some things as "Erica Clothes". I assume they mean on the "Plain Jane" side. I don't wear really extravagent or outrageous stuff normally. I'm usually in jeans or khakis and a nice shirt or sweater.

3) How many pairs of shoes do you own and do you wear them all?
Lots of shoes. I don't wear all of them. I have all the prom/formal shoes I ever bought and don't wear them (but might one day). I have 2-3 pairs of shoes I normally wear to work. Several pairs of sandals and 2 pair of boots.

4) Where do you buy most of your clothes?
From a variety of places. Any place from Target to L.S. Ayres to Outlets to basically any where I find something I like and that fits! I've been known to buy more than one pair of pants if they fit nicely.

5) What was the last piece of clothing you bought?
I just bought 2 pairs of work pants from Eddie Bauer that I absolutely love.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Current State of Me

Wearing: Black Pants & Light Blue 3/4 Sleeve cotton shirt that a accentuates by BB's :)

Drinking: Water

Upset that: Today is the last day I will see my boss Darla before I leave the dept.

Luxuriating in: E-mails from co-workers & students in my dept that are sad to see my go and the fact that my time here is dwindling

Reading: Getting ready to start another Left Behind Book

Learning: (Hopefully) How to knit - Have the book, just need supplies

Downloading: Nothing at the moment

Wanting: To start my transition into my new job

Listening to: Students talking and iTunes

Experience

We had our first experience w/ Pre-Seed (PS) on Monday. It was interesting to say the least. Basically like using KY or something but a little different. After BD-ing I tried laying flat for about 30 min just to be safe. After I cleaned up there was still some noticeable leakage, but I didn't notice too much yesterday until after lunch. Then I had a big glob. (Sorry TMI) I hope that is a good thing. I feel like it is. I would say it means it's still up in there. :) Anyway, we didn't get to BD last night b/c we ate Mexican and both our stomachs were not feeling well. Needless to say no more mexican around O-time. (Hopefully we don't have to worry about that for another 9 months) I still think we are very safe though b/c of the glob yesterday afternoon and then today is my first day of total ferns and we are BD-ing again tonight w/ PS. I feel pretty good about this month already.

Sunday I my saliva test and say only dots. I didn't test on Monday, but tested again last night and saw both dots and ferns. This morning I tested and saw a ton of ferns. We are BD-ing as soon as I get home tonight to say the least.

I feel so much more relief with my new job. Things seem to be finally going our way. Now we just need conception to go our way!

Monday, October 25, 2004

Update

So I have officially been offered the job in ECE and officially accepted the offer. I'm super excited about starting this new job, too. I have to learn so many new things and it's always sorta scary/nerve-racking learning new things. I don't start there full time until Nov 29 (the monday after T-day), but will start my transition over there on Nov 8 working 1/2 time in both places since my current boss is out for the month of November. It will be a long transition, but I don't want to leave my current dept out to hang either. Anyway, my basic job will be in charge of registration for all of the graduate students in that dept. I won't be anyone's secretary anymore! Woo hoo!

Saturday my brother called me! I was so excited! He had an 8-hour pass, so they all went to the bowling alley and I guess he was calling everyone. He was very upbeat and talked a mile a minute. It was really funny. He told me that he is actually 1 of 4 squad leaders and then they report to the platoon leader. Even so that is awesome. He is also 1 of 6 guys picked to become a ranger. He will report back January 3 for that training, which also includes airborne training. He said they have 3 crazies in their platoon and he was telling me about them. He said he cried some the first actual week there, which was actually their 3rd week b/c the first two were doing all the paperwork and getting their vaccines and such. I just can say how upbeat and happy he seemed. He said that he doesn't really feel like it has totally sunk in yet. It is inevitable that they will all go to Iraq. I told him to just keep getting training so it would prolong him going there!

Yesterday we went to the Colt's game. They lost but it was a good game. At least close, too. It was cool though b/c the suite next to us was the owners of the Jacksonville Jaguars.

You can see it was a good time.

Today officially starts our 2 week stint of trying. Hopefully this will be an overall GREAT month. I sure hope so.

Friday, October 22, 2004

Even Better End to my Week

I just got offered the job I interviewed for yesterday! Hooray.

Details to come as I haven't officially gotten my offer letter nor have I officially accepted it yet. Although they did tell me what it was going to be and everything. Even though I don't think I make very much, darn if I don't make more than some people above me! Unfortunately that means I don't get a big raise ($.05) for going over there, but I will get a 90 raise, so hopefully that is decent.

Woo hoo!

I'm Bragging

So I have to brag... I came in this morning doing my usual checking my e-mail and I had a message from my big boss (the school head). It was a copy of the reference he sent to the professor I interviewed with yesterday. It was very sweet and nice of him. (I'd hire me!) Then right before lunch I got copied on the one my immediate boss (office manager) wrote for me. Wow! She wrote a novel and damn was it good! Good thing I'm not as emotional this week or I might shed a tear. ha ha ha I will miss this place when I'm gone and not to sound conceited, but they will miss me, too!

Also, I got a call this morning for ANOTHER interview. I'm not as interested in this job and most likely won't even take the job if they offer it to me, but I think I'll still interview, just for fun. Did I just say interviewing is fun? Aaaahhh! You never know, I might go and find out it's not what I think it is, which is basically what I'm doing now.

So my week has ended on a nice note. This weekend should be fun. Tomorrow is another home football game for Purdue, so we'll be watching that. I hope to get some of my scrapbook done for my baby pics since I haven't worked on that in a LONG time. Also, we are going to the Colt's game on Sunday w/ a customer of Eric's. That will be fun especially since we will get to try out our new camera, too. Yay! I guess our weekend is a little busy. No plans for this evening though, at least that I know of yet.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Life

Well, I haven't updated much this week, so I thought I would today. The week didn't start out too great. It's been crazy here at work. I'm still on the verge of sickness, mostly a sore throat and sinuses, so I haven't been sleeping well. However, Tuesday I got a call for an interview. I am super excited about this job b/c it in the graduate office and I will have more of a job in that I won't be someone's secretary, but have more of my own responsibities and to me it would be more "career like". I just don't think I'm made out to be at someone's whim. Anyway, I interview this morning, so I'll update this afternoon as to how it went. Hopefully things will go my way this time. It's been a while. The other good thing about the job is that it's still a secretary, but higher than I am now. I would get a raise for going, plus a 90-day raise. Woo hoo! Also, this could lead to me to much higher jobs in that area, which is even more exciting. I just have to get the job first!

On the way home from GWO, Kitten & I were talking about how my camera is on it's last leg and we should be getting a new one in the next few months. Ironically when I got home Sunday Eric told me the screen kept going out so we were going to have to get one sooner than we thought. So, we are now the proud owners of a Sony Cyber-shot DSC-P100. I was having so much fun playing around with it last night! I can't wait to really use it.

On the conception side of things, not too much is happening. We will begin our "Trying" stage this weekend and hope to continue it for a full 2 weeks. We are pushing for every day, but know in reality that we'll probably miss a day every so often. Just got to think of it like eating dinner every night. It's got to be done. Plus, this will probably be my last good month before it's time for my yearly. We also get to try the Pre-seed this month. I plan on using it about every other day since we've only got 6 applications.

Also some news on my brother. He got to call my mom the other night. He was super excited b/c he made Platoon Leader. He also is joining the rangers when he gets done with all his training. I knew he could do it. And I'm such a proud sister! From what I hear being a ranger is quite an honor, so for that I'm happy for him. However, I guess they also are the first to go into "hot spots" and do special missions. I'm sure my brother loves that stuff, but it is a little scary. We'll just have to pray for him.

That's all for now. Keep your fingers crossed for my interview today!

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

GWO VI - TH

On Thursday I got off work at noon. Eric & I had lunch and ran a few errands then I came home and lounged on the couch for a bit. I watched Oprah, which was about Miracle Babies and cried. Boy, what an emotional week. I definitely want to get this book: Miracle: A Celebration of Life. Anyway, I cleaned up the house a little then waited on everyone to arrive. Kitten arrived around 7:30 and after a bite to eat, we headed to Wal-Mart and Target to do a little shopping before Jennifer arrived. Jennifer arrived later and after changing into our PJ's and touching her belly we watch her ultrasound video of Grace. Wow! It is so amazing. We were all pretty tired so we headed to bed.

Friday morning we got up early, got ready, had breakfast and then headed to TH. On the way we stopped at Steam Corner to see the family and have breakfast and walk around a bit. We got to TH around 12:30 and after dropping off our stuff at Heather's house and a little snack, we headed to the Bridge Festival. It was cold, but overall a good time. I didn't buy anything besides food. We were disappointed b/c Ava Chu wasn't there this year, but we did meet some rainbow haired ladies (you can figure it out). After that we headed back to TH and went to a Mexican place. Although the food was good it didn't sit well with me and I spent some time in the bathroom at Wal-Mart while the other ladies wondered aimlessly around shopping.

Saturday we got up to the smell of biscuits and gravy that Heather made for us. YUMMY! We took our time getting ready and left the house around noon and headed to Heather's house she is remodeling. It definately has some potential, but also a lot of work. We then hit up a park and took some prego pics of Jennifer then hit up a little diner for lunch and grabbed some coffee to warm us up. We stopped at one more park to grab a few more pics then headed to CVS to get our film developed. While waiting on the film we wondered around Hobby Lobby and picked up a few things. Jennifer found the cutest book shelf for Grace's room. We picked up the pics, which were great then headed to TK's Sports Bar where we met Heather's special delivery, Nick. We also had some awesome cheap food and watched Purdue throw away thier game to Wisconsin. After dinner, Kitten, Jennifer & I headed back to Heather's house and took some more "artsy" pics of Jennifer and her belly. I was feeling sick, so I took some medicine and unfortunately it knocked me out, so I headed to bed after the photography session. We got up early the next morning and after a quick chat headed back home. I feel so refreshed now. It was a much needed break (from work). I am still sorta sickly, but hope to get over that soon, too

Check out our pics from the weekend here
Note: Thanks Kitten for the link!

Monday, October 18, 2004

Oops

I forgot to tell everyone that I did start my period on Friday. However, my temp was still high (98.0), which is really weird. I have been really light this time, too. My bb's are not sore anymore. I'm probably still on the emotional side. At least the grouchy side. I am slightly sick, but not full blown, so that could be the reason for the higher temp, too. Who knows!?

Anyway, my friend S wants me to temp tomorrow just to be sure. She said she has talked to several people who spotted during the first part of their pregnancy and just thought it was their periods.

I really doubt that I'm pregnant, but just for giggles, I will temp tomorrow.

Fortune

Today I had lunch at a Chinese place. This is my fortunte...

Be prepared for a sudden, needed, and happy change in plans!

Wonder what that means... I can think of several things I hope it's for...

Thursday, October 14, 2004

CD 30 @ 11DPO

Thursday Evening
Saliva Test - No Ferns :(

Today
Temp - 98.1
HPT - Negative
BBs - Still sore

I really wasn't sure if I should test or not, especially after no ferns last night, but decided to go ahead since today would be the only day we could actually "celebrate" together if it came back positive since I will be going to TH tomorrow morning and not getting back til Sunday. I know It's not over yet, but I look for AF to arrive probably tomorrow or Saturday. We'll see. Or maybe she won't! I won't test again until Sunday if she hasn't shown by then.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Bag o' Emotions

OK, so my temp was still up this morning (98.1), but according to my calculations I would only be about 11 DPO. I think if it's up tomorrow still I will probably test. I hope I'm not getting my hopes up too high, but I feel good about this month. Even though we didn't do it EVERY day, we still had great timing in my opinion. Here's my chart if you'd like to look.

So you probably are curious about the title of my blog right? Well here's what's been happening.

1) Yesterday while our computer guy was working on my computer I was trying to tell him I didn't know how to do what he wanted me to do on the web. He just couldn't believe it. I guess he made me feel a little stupid. I told him (almost in tears) that he could just do it himself b/c I didn't really want to learn it anyway and was looking for another job. I don't know why this upset me so.

2) Last night supper did NOT sit well with me at all. I laid on the couch all evening and ended up falling asleep as I usually do. I don't know why, but I really get mad when Eric doesn't wake me up before 10. I guess I feel like I need to be in bed by 10 in order to get some good sleep. Well, last night he didn't wake me up until about 10:15 and this made me furious. I yelled at him. Then when I went to the bathroom the stupid toilet broke, which made me even madder and I yelled even more. Then I couldn't find anything to wear for today and ended up tossing the wire hanger in the kitchen that had my pants on it and finally went to bed. I was not a happy camper and poor Eric got my rath last night. I'm sorry honey, I really am. I think someone monster took over my body last night.

3) This morning I was reading the paper on-line when I saw an about my sister.
"The match was the final contest for Southmont’s Ashlee XX, who has been a letterwinner for the Mounties in all four years of the Southmont program." I don't know why, but this made tears come to my eyes. She is the only girl who has played and lettered the entire 4 years that the school's soccer team has been in existance. I guess it makes me sad b/c she probably won't play anymore unless she plays in college.

I can laugh at all these things now, but whew, that was a bit much. I guess I'm just a little emotional. Of course that can be either a PMS or Prego symptom so it doesn't mean much, but still. I think maybe I just have too much going on right now. Hopefully the girl-time this weekend will get me back in the swing of things.

Check back tomorrow to find out the results of temping/testing... Keep your fingers & toes crossed, pray, whatever you have to do. I'll be doing it all, too!

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Darn Ferns.... Or maybe good ferns....

Hard to tell right now where these ferns rank on my list. I still have ferns. (at least partial) I know two people who continued to have ferns after ovulation that are currently pregnant. That gives me hope, but also makes me analyze even more than normal, too.

After talking to my friend J, I got some crazy idea to test my husband. And assuming he did it correctly, he didn't have any ferns. (Yay!) I'm going to test him again tonight so I can see for myself. Poor guy, can you imagine what is running through his mind? I'm also making Kitten test when she arrives at my house Thursday and we know she isn't pregnant. She will still have AF. Of course since it's girls weekend this weekend my pregnant friend J will have to test, but it seems like she will probably have ferns. Although I could be wrong. We'll find out!

What a day

So far my day's been pretty lazy. No one is here today, so there isn't a whole lot to do. I've got some things done, but haven't been real motivated. I did paint my fingernails this morning though.

I have decided to start looking outside of my current company for jobs now. It scares me a little. I know someone in a medical billing place and could probably get a job there BUT it'd be a pay cut and I'm not sure we can do that. It would definitely have more potential for growth, but can we take a pay cut to grow? I don't know. I actually put a call into the lady to see if their benefits and growth potential can balance out the pay cut at least a little, so we'll see what she says when she calls back. Ugh. I hate job hunting. It's a little better when you know the person doing the hiring, but still. I don't seem to be going anywhere at my current place of employment and although I love my boss, it has to happen. I'm going nowhere. Even though I like my free time and being able to do basically anything I want. I still sorta like a little more "career" life. I didn't spend 4 years in college for nothing. At least I don't think.

I don't like interviewing!
I don't like pay cuts!
I don't like job searching!
I don't like send my resume out!
Most of all I don't like not getting called when I know I should!

Why can this just be an enjoyable easy part of life??

Sunday, October 10, 2004

Weekend

My weekend has been good. Friday night when I got home Eric had rented some movies. We ordered a pizza and started watching Farenheit 9/11. Wow! It really fired Eric up and I was just amazed throughout the whole movie. If you haven't seen it, it's definitely something to see. I wonder if it will have any affect on the voting outcome since it came out on Tuesday on video and I imagine many people will rent it. My nanny & papaw also stopped by for a little bit on Friday night. My grandma has been sick, but she is doing much better. We chatted with them for a bit then they headed home.

Saturday morning we got up early. The dogs woke us up at about 6:30 and I just couldn't go back to sleep so I finally got up a little after 7 and showered and got ready. I headed to C'ville to get my roots done and then visit with my dad & Peg for a while. When I got back to Lafayette I wondered around a few stores then headed home to watch Purdue win their football game. I spent most of the even reading my new book, "Little Earthquakes" by Jennifer Weiner. Eric left around 9:30 to go out to the bars and as usual I just went to bed. I wanted to go out with him, but then again I just wanted to go to bed. The sleep won.

Today we've just been lazy for the most part. I run the vacuum through the house and mop the kitchen and might clean the tub in our bathroom. We watched the Colts' game (they won) and I finished my book. Ironic that I just read a book about 4 women and their lives involving 3 of them being pregnant and 1 who lost a child and about the trials and tribulations of marriage, families, jobs, etc. Interesting. Very good book to say the least.

I took my temp again this morning, not that I have any doubts of not being pregnant this month, but just in case. It was 98.1. High, but probably not high enough to say baby. I get that temp always after O-ing. I'd sure like to see some 98.5+s. ha ha

Friday, October 08, 2004

Zero Patience

My hormones (probably PMS) have just kicked it up a notch this week. So far, I've voiced my opinion on 3 occassions today. And b/c they are a bit humorous, I thought I'd share

Occassion 1
I got an e-mail (actually several) last week that I needed to go on-line and submit our monthly meter readings on our office machines. I did this Monday. Well, today I get a call from them saying they needed my meter readings. I politely told her that I had already submitted those on-line Monday. She told me that they are having problems getting them from the web and that I needed to give them directly to her (again). I not-so-politely asked her why she wasted my time sending my numerous e-mails last week telling me they needed them when they couldn't get them and were just going to call me? She couldn't answer that and just told me "You could just get them now and give them to me" I gave them to her but not after telling her I was not going to submit them on-line anymore that it was waste of people's time and they could just start calling me every month. (With a big smile) She just said thank you and have a nice weekend.

Occassion 2
The mailman refused to bring the 6 cases of paper into my office (but will bring every other box there) again this morning. As you may know from previous posts I hurt my back a while ago and have been sorta guarding it since then in fear that I could hurt it again. It was not a fun experience. Anyway we also have a huge theft problem in our building. We've asked the mail people to please bring everything to the main office. They do, except the paper b/c they are lazy. Well today was the last straw. I called the guy's boss and got him permission to bring it to my office. He just brought me the afternoon mail and asked me exactly where I wanted it and I politely showed him and explained to him that since he told me they were "not allowed to bring paper to the office" I simply got him permission.

Occassion 3
We have a dept. credit card that we let people check out for purchases at local places like Wal-mart, Ace, etc. The other day a guy checked it out. When they bring it back they are supposed to bring me a Purchase Request Form and the receipt. Sometimes they bring the credit card back and bring me the receipt the next day or so. I noticed today that I didn't not get a receipt yet from him so I sent him an e-mail saying that I didn't have one and needed it as soon as possible.

His reply:
Erica,
When I checked it out, I made no purchase. Therefore, there is no receipt or green form. I told you this when I returned the credit card. I guess you just didn't listen.

Thank you,
Phil


Note that last sentence... So with they day I had, I replied with this and BC'd my boss:
Phil,

I appreciate your concern for my hearing, but my hearing is just fine. I don't recall you saying anything when you returned the credit card to me as I would have logged that information in for Judy. I may have just been busy at the time you returned it. Thank you for letting me know though.

Erica

Is it 5:00 yet? I don't think I'm a people person today... I told my husband and he told me to leave my attitude at the office this afternoon. I think I'll curl up with my book (Jennifer Weiner's new one "Little Earthquakes") and some hot chocolate tonight

Tomorrow I'm going to get my roots dyed and probably see my parents for a bit. Eric is going out tomorrow night for Bacardi Red Hot Road Trip. I'd like to go with him, but in reality I'll probably go to bed. Why does everyone wait til late at night to go out and party and get drunk? DON'T ANSWER THAT!

Sunday we plan on just being lazy. I'm hoping to work some more on my baby photo scrapbook. Probably need to clean the house good, too since we are having company next weekend (or at least Thursday). Yay! It's almost time for another GWO!

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Proud Sister

My sister Ashlee called last night and she's been accepted here at Purdue. She's so excited. She is accepted as undecided, but will transfer into nursing after the first semester or first year. She is very smart and committed and I'll know she'll do great. I'm so proud of her. I just hope she get some scholarships or grants. I know she'll get some financial aid b/c that's one good thing about my mom, she can't keep a job very well thus doesn't make much money and falls in the "financial need" category.

I also got a letter from my brother yesterday. (He's the one that's in boot camp right now) He said he is doing great. I imagine it was rough the first week or two. He seems really excited about what they are doing and will be doing. Seems to really have a pretty positive attitude. I'm so excited that he's doing good. He made me laugh. He says he's got an M-16 that's he had since the first week that's his b*tch and it can never been anymore than an arm's length away from him except in the shower. He also figured out where all the taxes are going b/c the've issued him like $2,000 worth of gear. He also said his final test would be when they take them out and drop them in the woods (I think) and they have to stay out there for 7 days then hike 15 miles back to the base. According to my mom he will be getting baptized while he's there, too.

Now I just have one more sister that needs to get busy making me proud. She's going to be a handful though! We have to get her out of HS w/ a diploma first. Ugh!

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Side Job

Ok, so some professors can be good to you, but of course it always has to benefit them in one way or another. I now have a side job (2 day deal) of basically doing some data entry for one of my profs. It is very simple and won't take me too long to do. I just have to do it on my own time. The good thing about profs is that they can't fathom making the "piddly" money that we make with their near of ablove 6 figure salaries... So he's paying my double the hourly wage I make here. They can be generous sometimes...

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Inconsiderate

People amaze me at how inconsiderate they are!

Obviously anyone who reads this blog knows I've been trying for over a year to get pregnant with no luck yet. My best friends really have supported me so much and I'm so thankful. They give me advice or research stuff or just Most of my family doesn't know that we are trying b/c well, I don't want to hear all the "Relax", "It will happen in it's own time", "There's no hurry", etc. Yeah, all that bullshit. Then I have one "friend" (I'll refer to her as A) in particular who is so inconsiderate in a lot of ways. I know deep down that she just doesn't think about what she says and that she really isn't trying to hurt me by saying things, but.... Here's some examples...

1) MY FAVORITE - When we were all shopping one day 2 of us who aren't pregnant joined the other who is pregnant in trying on maternity clothes. A did not partake in the trying on of clothes. I tried on a particular outfit and really liked the pants. I said I was going to have to get me a pair when I got pregnant. A proceeds to tell me that I should buy them now so it will motivate me. I guess I haven't been motivated enough the last year! I didn't want to start anything, so I just went back to my fitting room and shut the door a little harder than normal. She DID NOT get the point and I DID NOT buy the pants.

2) MOST RECENT - A apparently is now refering to me as "Fertile Myrtle". If I'm so damn fertile then I guess I would have at least one child right now and possibly pregnant with #2... Yeah, that's gonna stop real quick like.

A says really wants to be involved in our girls weekends, but can't take a single Friday off to come early (We normally start Thursday night and leave Sunday morning) b/c she needs $$ so severly and she has been known to leave early b/c she just can't be away from whoever she's seeing at the time. Yet, she can take 1 WHOLE WEEK off to go on vacation w/ that particular person. I know my friend J is upset b/c A can't even drive over 1 day to go to her baby shower. It's a Saturday. She doesn't have to take off work or spend the night or anything. Just show up. But I'm sure we will all be expected to attend her bridal shower, bach. party, wedding, etc. when she finally gets married. And we will do it b/c we love her. That's what sucks. We aren't getting the same in return.

I guess I could go on and on about how inconsiderate she is, but I just wanted to vent about my fertility and our GWO (right now). Obviously I'm not worried that she'll read this b/c frankly, she doesn't read my blog b/c it doesn't concern her (oops, I mean she doesn't have time) and even if she did well, maybe she'll realize how inconsiderate she's being.

Inflation

Purdue has finally succomb to inflation. They just replaced the tampon machine in our building. It costs a whole quarter now instead of a dime. This just really makes me laugh for some reason.

Another Update

I finally got a chance to update. I was swamped yesterday at work and normally don't update my blog at home. Anyway I had company, so couldn't if I wanted to.

Sunday morning we got up and I checked my temp again. It was 97.7. Didn't think too much about it. We got ready and headed to Champaign to meet Eric's parents. It was a nice drive. After meeting them, we headed to lunch at this mexican place. Oh how we love mexican! It was good. I ordered chicken fajitas and all four of us could have eaten off my plate. It was HUGE! Anyway, his parents told us that they bought a timeshare in Vegas. We were very excited! In fact that actually bought a double unit and when they die we will inherit one unit and Eric's sister & husband will inhert one. They have a week in August that they will spend in Vegas, plus 4 bonus weeks. Next year however, they opted to not take their week in August for another 4 bonus weeks. So, do the addition, they have 9 weeks next year! They gave us 2 and Amanda & Erik 2 and a friend of their's 1 week. That still leaves them with 4 weeks. We only pay $139 fee for domestic or $179 for foreign to stay somewhere other than vegas. They thought also that this would force their kids & spouses to vacation together at least sometime! I'm all for that! That was all just through lunch. So after lunch we went to Sam's and Best Buy, then headed to the mall. We got a few deals, but really didn't spend much money. It was nice just to wonder around and chat. I'm so glad that his mom & I are fine now that we are married. I was really worried for a while before the wedding. Finally we said our good-byes and headed home. We were both pretty exhausted when we got home. Driving really takes the life out of ya. We didn't end up BD-ing that night. I did check my saliva test and it had dots and ferns. I sorta thought my temp would 1) either jump Monday morning or 2) I wouldn't O this month...

So Monday morning when I woke up and took my temp it was 98.1. I did ovulate. I would guess either late Saturday or early Sunday though. At least we got one in Saturday. I e-mailed my friends yesterday for some advice and opinions about this cycle. See, next weekend will be the quarterly girls' weekend out again. D & J will be coming to my house Thursday evening. Then we will get up and drive to TH to meet H where all the festivities will take place.

Here's the deal on how it affects my AF/Testing... In a normal cycle I would have O'd around Day 13-16 and AF would arrive around Day 28-29 (10/13-10/14). But since I was sick O was delayed and now I don't imagine I'll start until more like 10/17 (Sun). J had a good suggest though. S checked her saliva last night and she still had ferns. So maybe if I check my saliva on Thursday and there's ferns then maybe I could test on Friday before we head to TH. Of course it will all depend on my body signs, too. If there are no ferns then I'll just wait til I get back home on Sunday or Monday morning.

Last night my sister and her boyfriend came by and visited us. We had dinner at BW3s then came back to our house and visited for a while. This is my youngest sister and her and I aren't very close. We've tried to work on our relationship, but I think she's just still in that young annoying stage right now. She does stupid things and doesn't care about things she should and it just really frustrates me. Overall it was a nice visit though.

Saturday, October 02, 2004

It's been a while....

...since I updated my blog again.

This week has been so crazy. I've been sick all week for one thing. I didn't seem to be getting any better. I think it's getting better now. I went home early from work on Thursday and had a nice long nap. During the afternoon I was surfing channels and ended up catching "A Baby Story". Now, I haven't watched this show for some time now. I used to watch it a lot, but then I got discouraged b/c everyone on there seemed like they didn't have any problems and got pregnant right away. This story was different. This lady tried for over a year and maybe longer before trying clomid and got pregnant right away. They got pregant with their second child (on clomid) soon after their first. Both pregnancies were good. They decided to have #3 and it didn't take too long, but learned she had miscarried at 18 weeks. They got pregnant 4 weeks later and made it past the 18 week mark and thought they were pretty much out of the woods. Well, she went to get an amnio and then 2 days later started having contractions. They found out that they were the 1 in however many that got an infection with an amnio and that baby died a short time later. Finally they got pregnant again, this time with twins. She thought it was god giving her two for the two she'd lost. Well, she ended up losing one, but the other was a healthy happy baby and she had no complications.

Ok, you probably didn't need all that detail, but sad as it is, it's nice to relate to other people who have had problems getting pregnant. I called Eric's insurance again, just to double check that they didn't cover anything. And nope, they still don't. So, as Eric says, "My hormones started raging". I got to thinking. I ended up buying Preseed on-line to try next month. As you can tell, I'm sorta convinced that this is not our month despite our BD-ing regularly. Of course I still have some hope, but no that my being sick probably really messed up my O-ing.

Since my friend Samara got pregnant and even though it didn't really work for her, I've been inspired to try to the Saliva Fertility Tests. So, yes, you guessed it! Last night as we did some grocery shopping, we picked one of those little things up. Of course I checked my saliva several times last night and didn't see any "ferns", which would indicate I'm in my fertile window. I thought maybe I just didn't know what I was looking for or something. Eric even looked several times. I woke up early (thanks to the doggies), so I decided to check my temp. It was 97.6. My first thought, was yay, that most likely means I haven't O'd yet. I went back to sleep when I got up, it just so happened I found another baby story. I thought, I better check my saliva again. I actually saw FERNS! I had Eric look to make sure I wasn't seeing things. So you know what happened shortly there after! :)

We decided not to go to the Feast of the Hunter's Moon today now. Eric has been busy putting up our Halloween stuff and I have been lazy. Purdue football starts at 1:30, so we'll spend the afternoon watching that. Tomorrow we will be driving to Champaign to meet his parents. We haven't seen them in a while, so it will be nice. We are having lunch then probably wondering around the mall and Sam's Club. That has become quite the tradition whether they come to our house or we go to theirs.

Hopefully we hear something from Jennifer tonight since they are getting a fetal foto done today. We'll keep our fingers crossed that they don't have to repaint their nursery!